Open Writing

Time: Later that day.
Place: The dining room at Belvedere Fort.

Edward is entertaining two friends, Lady Thelma Furness and Mrs Wallis Simpson, whom Lady Furness has just introduced to the Prince of Wales.

Edward: [To his butler] James, on no account are we to be disturbed. If the phone rings, I’m out. Understand?

James: Perfectly, sir. [Exits]

Lady Furness: [Gaily] Not even if Parliament has been blown up, darling?

Edward: Some hopes, alas.

Mrs Simpson: But what if it were?

Edward: Why, then I’d crack another bottle of champagne and we’d drink to the health of whoever did it, for doing the country a great service. Poor old Guy Fawkes! He ought to be made a saint.

Lady Furness: You say the most outrageous things, darling.

Edward: I’ve been born too late, my dear.

Mrs Simpson: How’s that, Your Royal Highness?

Edward: Earlier Kings were their own masters, for they had no Parliament, but Parliament is now my master and I have to do what it decrees. Oh, to have been born a Tudor! I’d have had them all in the Tower and cut off their heads in no time; every Jack man of them..

Mrs Simpson: But one day you’ll be King and can do as you please.

Edward: That’s a popular misconception you Americans have. No, the Crown is merely a puppet of Parliament. We’re figureheads, that’s all; here to smile and do Parliament’s bidding.

Mrs Simpson: You sound aggrieved, Your Royal Highness.

Edward: [Leaning across and patting Mrs Simpson’s hand] Please, Mrs Simpson, no more Royal Highnesses. I’m David to my friends only His Royal Highness Prince Edward to the politicians.

Mrs Simpson: Then in that case, David, I’m Wallis.

Edward: I’ve heard so much about you and I’m so pleased that Thelma brought you along. She said I’d enjoy your company and she wasn’t wrong. Y’know, Wallis, there’s too much standing on dignity in Britain, too much class-consciousness and pigeon-holing people. We ought to be more like you Americans, less formal and more easy-going, taking folk as we find them.

Lady Furness: But your dignity and poise are exactly why we admire you British. You have something we lost when we cut free. We’ve no aristocracy only self-made millionaires. Oh, how we hanker after your dignity and charm, the traditions you have.

Edward: And our fish and chips? [They laugh]

Mrs Simpson: I’d never have associated the Prince of Wales with fish and chips.

Edward: They’re just as tasty to the palate of a Prince as to a peasant.

Lady Furness: Your Prime Minister would be shocked to hear you call the working class, “peasants”. He’s their champion, isn’t he?

Edward: He’s the first Labour Prime Minister – and it’s ironic that we have the highest number of unemployed the country’s known. I had such high hopes the Socialists would improve the lot of the common man.

Mrs Simpson: The Socialists under Herr Hitler in Germany have almost got rid of unemployment . I admire him greatly.

Edward: I’m a great admirer of Herr Hitler, too.

Mrs Simpson: He’s lifted Germany right out of the mess they were in.

Lady Furness: But he’s also upset many people, especially the aristocrats and land owners. I can tell you, inside Germany there’s a great deal of opposition to him and the Nazis.

Edward: The aristocrats are merely getting their come-uppance under Herr Hitler, and about time, too. It’s the ordinary people who are reaping the benefits. We desperately need some kind of leader like him here in Britain to get rid of our class system.

Mrs Simpson: I didn’t expect that coming from the Prince of Wales.

Edward: You’ll understand me more when you get to know me better, Wallis.

Mrs Simpson: [Flirting] And I certainly intend to do that, David.

Edward: [Raising his glass} Then here’s to our better acquaintance, Wallis. [They clink glasses] And here’s to you, Thelma, for introducing us.

Lady Furness: I’m sure you two darlings will get on just fine.

Edward: [Flirting} I get on fine with all beautiful women, Thelma, and you should know. Two of the most beautiful are dining with me tonight.

Lady Furness: Flattery, darling, will get you everywhere.

Edward: A man’s not worth his salt if he can’t flatter a beautiful woman.

Mrs Simpson: And you’re certainly a charmer, David.

Edward: That may be, but you’re worth charming for you’re a very attractive lady, Wallis. You’ve bewitched me already.

Mrs Simpson: But you barely know me.

Edward: I certainly intend getting to know you better.

Lady Furness: I do believe you’ve made a conquest, Wallis, over dinner this evening.

Edward: And I’ll be completely in thrall by the time the dessert arrives.

Mrs Simpson: [Smiling at Edward] You’ll find me an easy mistress, David.

Edward: And I’ll be your devoted slave.

Lady Furness: Well, well, you are quick off the mark, Wallis. Look well after him while I’m away, darling.

Mrs Simpson: I promise you, I will, Thelma. I will devote myself to him entirely.

Lady Furness: Who’d have thought things would have moved so fast when I introduced you to each other tonight.

Edward: I’d seen Wallis from afar long before tonight. That’s why I asked you
to bring her.. I wanted the vision made real.
Lady Furness: David, darling, you’re incorrigible, but you’ll find Wallis good company.
Edward: I’ll need good company the way things are here and how I’m
being got at by the Prime Minister and the rest. They’re nothing but
a bunch of old fuddy-duddies still living in the nineteenth
century. Parliament’s a talking-shop, that’s all. They argue and argue but
do nothing. Now if we had Herr Hitler as Prime Minister things would
be different. He’s a man I could really work with. [Sips his drink] I
hear you’re very friendly with the German ambassador, Wallis.
Mrs Simpson: Joachim von Ribbentrop?
Edward: The same. What’s he like?
Mrs Simpson: He’s attractive and he’s quite interesting. Like all Nazis he’s bursting with
energy to get things done and he’s very loyal to Herr Hitler. That’s

what impresses me about them all. The Nazis are so loyal to each other
and work so well together. The ordinary people adore Herr Hitler.
Lady Furness: But when I was last over there, I did hear whispers from his opponents
that Herr Hitler’s inexperience would soon put him out of office.
Edward: It’s the old guard; the aristocracy and church who are against him and
neither count for anything. They’re has-beens. They’ve had their day
just as they’ve had it here.
Mrs Simpson: I’m surprised you say that, David. One day you’ll be head of the
English Church.
Edward: A Church which is on its way out. It counts for little now, because it
still lives in the past and is against innovation. It’s still in the
Dark Ages. I tell you, Wallis, when I become King I won’t be pushed
around like my father by a bunch of people who know nothing about real
life. What do bishops know whose entire lives have been spent inside
the cosy confines of the Church. Unless it changes the Church will be a
non-entity in Britain within a generation. Thousands already go
nowhere near it.
Mrs Simpson: You may be right. I know from bitter experience. Once you’re
divorced you’re an outcast as far as the Church is concerned. They
don’t want to know you.
Lady Furness: [Uncomfortable at the drift of conversation] I can’t say I agree with all
you say, Wallis, but let’s change the subject before we get in too deep.
We don’t want to spoil the evening arguing, do we, darlings? Say, have
you seen the new talking movies with Greta Garbo?
Edward: Yes. Now there’s a beauty – and what a voice!

Mrs Simpson: I just loved her opening line. [She mimics the deep husky voice of
Garbo] “Gimme a whisky, baby, and make it strong!” [They laugh]
Edward: Wallis, you ought to have been an actress.
Mrs Simpson: I may well be one day, David.
Edward: You’ve certainly got the good looks.
Mrs Simpson: [Smiling] Thank you, David. [She raises her glass to him]
Edward: And that’s not flattery. You are good-looking, Wallis, as pretty as any
film star and that goes for you, too, Thelma. You know, I’m very fussy about
my lady friends. They must be intelligent as well as beautiful. I meet too
many empty headed dolls who throw themselves at me.
Mrs Simpson: And I go for good-looking men who are men of the world. You score on both
points, David, but I’ve never thrown myself at any man. They’ve
always come to me.
Lady Furness: We all find you attractive, darling David.
Edward: And not simply because I’m the Prince of Wales?
Mrs Simpson: Well, that does help a little. [They laugh]
Edward: I’m pleased to hear it. I’m pleased to hear anything nice said about me
by ladies like yourself. It does my ego a power of good.
Mrs Simpson: Good job we’re alone. The press would have a field day if they overheard
us speaking like this.
Edward: I assure you there are no ears at the keyholes for my butler is discretion itself.
Mrs Simpson: You have great faith in your staff, but I can’t say the same for my servants.
They’re the ears and eyes of the papers and leak everything I say and do.
When they’ve nothing to report, they make things up and are paid for
any bit of scandal.

Lady Furness: Darling, you ought to take a cut and work hand in glove with them, like
myself . Half of what I tell them isn’t true, but their readers lap it up and
I’m paid well so everyone is happy.
Edward: So here’s to the press. [They raise their glasses and toast.] When our
memoirs appear we three will make a fortune.
Curtain