Sandy's Say: Perspective
...On this particular Saturday I had a more pressing concern on my mind as my parents were arriving from England the next day for a month long holiday.
“I’m going home to clean the oven,” I announced to the incredulous dads...
Sandy James's husband said “If she wants to clean the oven then you should just let her do it.”
But Sandy felt compelled to do some cleaning. It's all a matter of perspective, isn't it?
The essence of man is in his thinking for, no matter what his eyes perceive, it is how he interprets his experience that determines his resultant actions and, ultimately, his overall view of the world. People can witness the same scene or be given identical information and yet come up with entirely different versions of understanding.
I use the word “man” in the generic sense here but one’s perceptions are very much affected by one’s gender. Consider the following scenario as a case in point. The school cricket match was plodding along at a ‘life is passing us by here, people’ pace and, as every mother knows (but will never admit to publicly), once your own child has batted or bowled for the day the interest and need to pay attention for future quizzing quickly fizzles. Already this is solely a female perspective as the menfolk will sit there all day, analysing every muscle twitch in detail, commenting on every rotation of the ball and debating each umpiring decision – anything to avoid having to go home and mow the lawn.
On this particular Saturday I had a more pressing concern on my mind as my parents were arriving from England the next day for a month long holiday.
“I’m going home to clean the oven,” I announced to the incredulous dads.
“Well, I can’t expect my mother to travel 17,000 kms and then have her slaving away at scouring my dirty oven like she did last time she visited. It is not right.”
“If she wants to clean the oven then you should just let her do it.” No surprise there for that was my husband’s opinion.
“If you simply close the door then you won’t notice it,” suggested Ben’s dad helpfully as they dissolved into a heap of masculine guffaws. I perceived myself to be doing the noble and correct thing by my mother. The men saw me as being silly and overly pedantic.
Perspective is very much affected by one’s education and experience of life. In 2002, my son and I were booked to travel to England to visit my family when the newspapers and television were suddenly full of news of the SARS virus and the horrific Bali bombings.
“I’m not going,” announced my son (a young school boy), “we might be blown up by a terrorist.”
“Don’t come,” pleaded my father (a doctor), “you might catch SARS and bring it with you.”
“You’re going,” stated my husband (an accountant). “I’ve already paid for your tickets.”
No story illustrates three differing view points better than when I bought a new, novelty doormat for our front doorstep. Instead of saying “Welcome” it read “Go Away''. I considered it as a bit of a joke bearing in mind that my mother-in-law was about to come and stay. When my husband saw it he was not amused and grumbled something about it being an unnecessary expense. Our son, on the other hand, showed the most insight of all. He watched two money collectors from the Salvation Army Appeal Fund walking up our path. When they read the doormat they turned away without even knocking.
“See, Dad,” crowed our budding capitalist triumphantly, “the mat has already paid for itself.”
