Open Writing

Scene

Oh the drama of acting! Richard Mallinson tells a theatrical tale.

'Any change in the situation?'

'Not that I've noticed.'

'You never notice anything. Too busy tailing yourself up.'

'Don't be rude.'

'Look, you're a police officer, for god's sake, not a glamour girl.'

There's nothing wrong with being glam.'

'Cut,' said Tod, the director. 'Is that the best you can do Mandy? You sound about as animated as a wet cabbage.'

'What d'you expect, with a script like this?'

'Well, dearie, it's the only script we've got and if you criticise it again I'll have you off the series before you can - '

'Before she can what?' said Greg, turning.

'You stay out of this, Greg. It's between me and Mandy.'

'What's between you and Mandy? May I see?'

'Don't be cheeky,' said Mandy.

'But I'm sticking up for you.'

'Go away and stick yourself up.'

'Crikey, I can see why your husband left you.'

'Hey, you two, that's enough,' said Tod. 'Start again, Greg, with "Any change in the situation?" And Mandy, love, do try to put a teeny bit more oomph into your lines . . . Try to be pert.'

'Pert? How can I be if I'm a wet cabbage? I've never been so -'

'Oh, don't cry, my love. I didn't mean it, really . . .'

Mandy smiled. That's all right, then,' she said.

*

To read more of Richard's stories please visit http://www.openwriting.com/archives/fast_fiction/