Open Writing

'Don't try to explain, Kemp,' said Okaster. 'I don't want to hear.'

'Why not, Mr Okaster? I have a rational explanation.'

'Your explanations are never rational, Kemp . . . Well, go on, then, what was it this time? Did your aunt die in Canada?'

'I haven't got an aunt in Can ... ha, ha, I see what you mean.'

'Do you really? That must be the first time in all the years you've worked for Okaster and Co Ltd.'

The first time, Mr Okaster?'

'Yes, the first time you've seen what I mean ... or meant.'

'What did you mean?'

'I meant. .. Now, come on, you .. . get on with it.'

'Get on with it? Well, yes, if you will bear with me -'

'Bear with you? Just get on with your bloody silly explanation, that's all.'

'It's not bloody silly, it's -'

'I'll be the judge of that, if you don't mind.'

'No, I don't mind but I - '

'Oh, I'm pleased to hear it... Now get a move on, will you? I haven't got all day to sit here listening to your blather.'

'It isn't blather, it's -'

'Oh, my god, do make a start, for heaven's sake.'

'Well, Mr Okaster, it's difficult to know just where to begin but I'll -'

'Why not begin in the middle, old chap?"

'Eh? . . . Ah, I see, you're mocking me again, aren't you, Mr Okaster?'

'Oh, for god's sake, Kemp, it was only a joke. Here, take my handkerchief.'