Christmas Every Week: A Bit Of A Change
Arnold Kellett’s poem suggests a telly-less Christmas is no bad thing.
A grand Christmas dinner wor sided at last
Then they all started fratchin' away
Ovver t' programmes the' wanted on t' telly
It wor ruinin' wer Christmas Day.
Some wanted one thing, an' some wanted t' other:
Young uns says, 'We'll 'ave James Bond!
'Ah'll not stand fer that!' grandfatther says
An' 'e likes 'is own way, does yond.
'Well, sit thissen dahn, then,' grandmother bawls,
'Cahr quiet, an' just clooase thi een!'
So, queer as Dick's 'atband, they all gathered rahnd,
Gawpin' all gawmless at t' screen.
The' switched t'blamed set on - but nowt 'appened
The'd watch owt nah, on that they agreed,
But choose 'ah the' brayed it an' pawsed it abaht
It wor plain 'at yon telly 'ad deed.
It wor like a bereavement in t' family, tha knaws:
Ivvery face wore a reight solemn frahn
A gatherin' o' mawks i' daft comic 'ats
Eart-sluffened, 'cos t' telly'd brok dahn.
Well, wi lit a grand fire, wi' gurt blazin' logs,
Turned wer backs on t' blank, sackless screen,
An' wi switched on t' wireless at 3 o'clock,
An' just sat theeare an' listened ter t' Queen.
