Useful And Fantastic: The Da Vinci Sock Mystery- 3
Val Yule continues her imaginative a surrealistic tale of the missing sock of a very famous man.
Learned Appendices (Toes, no doubt)
"Way back in history, odd socks were the first holey garments, and carried the message of Love - L is the shape of a foot, O is nothing much, V is two toes turned up, and E are the other three toes. This message is encrypted by the Old Testament prophet Hosea, whose girlfriend left him because he had said 'Darn!' too often.
Necromancers - or mancers or mincers of ankle socks - neck being a code for ankle, prophesied that if an army of footry was defeeted in war, they lost all their socks, not just one each.
The male interpretation of many old pillars and wall carvings as phallic symbols is mistaken - actually they are all pillars for hanging socks on.
Soccage was a tribute that Anglo-Saxons had to pay to medieval football captains, who were called Soccaroos.
Five people hold the secret of the Odd Sock- they are codenamed Piggies, and from Piggy 1 to 5, they in turn represent Economics, Domestics, Consuming, Welfare and Entertainment (listen to any granny playing with a baby to check this out) and they cry 'Oui oui oui oui' all the way home, meaning 'Where is my One Sock?'
The game of soccer began as a source of missing socks.
Once you are aware that the odd sock is a clue to the universe, you can find it is the clue everywhere; but you cannot find the sock.
The Sockinian heresy was about socks.
Ankle-What is a ruined city lost in the jungle together with all its lost socks, which creep and twine over the carvings.
The Sphinx, rather than appear in odd sox, bit off both its own back legs, but still asks the riddle:
Sphinx. 'Tell me, what goes on only one leg!'
Oedipus (who lost a sock early in life)' 'A pair of socks with one missing!'
Sphinx. 'Which sock is that?'
Oedipus. 'The one that's not missing.'
Rightward and Leftward, Socks Sinister and Dexter. It is the Sinister Sock that gets lost. But how do you know which is which? It is confusing. If it was all right, you would assume that it was the Right Sock, but actually it is the Left Sock which is left.
This leads on to which one is the missing sock.
There is the Yin sock and the Yang sock.
The Axsok civilisation had feathered socks."
By the time Loseur had confided all this, in his brusque conspiratorial style, and as they careered around the Arc de Triomphe in whirligigs, he started to notice that Holly's eyes were blue-grey, with a check patterns, and little clocks at the corners. Clocks on Hose,he remembered, are actually Horological symbols. And the Arc de Triomphe is really a monument to a laid-back jazz trumpeter, and is actually not in Paris any more, but has replaced the Yellow Peril which spanned Dight's Falls where Dight once fell. It is strange how only the Loseur has ever noticed this.
The mystery then became more explosive, as now the police of four countries moved in , 'Bang Bang Bang Bang! Bang! Bang!' These bangs can now be distributed around the story according to the reader's preference.
In his last be-holed moments, Loseur gave away more secrets to his sultry monsoon-like companion. Leonardo da Vinci is of course at the bottom of most sock-drawers when it comes to mystery. It is not the Last Supper that his great mural is about, but Last Socks. The Madonna of the Rocks is full of pointing fingers trying to indicate where the socks are. Mona Lisa is a heavily coded acronym for 'Mum, only one sock left!'
Holbein (German for Holey Leg) painted Henry VIII keeping his spare socks inside puffed shoes, to vainly try to keep them safe.
Most real life quests in the world are seeking Lost Socks, and the ending of fairy stories, 'They lived happily ever after' really has the moral to give up looking for lost socks and dont worry any more if socks do not match
What do you think Odysseus was looking for all those 12 years in his Odyssey? Yes, the missing One!
Every soldier carries a spare sock in his knapsock, but to no avail.
In the Arthurian Leg-end there was a Siege Perilous with the message, 'Whoever sits here will get his socks shot off.' The Morte D'Arthur was a result of shocking sox, disguised as a Quest for a Holey Grail &endash; a safe place to keep socks without one disappearing.
Sock it to him, come to heel, pull up your socks &endash; the world of repartee is obsessed with socks. There is a branch of hosiography about it.
Isaac Newton's theory of gravity derived from more than an apple falling - there was also the question of Isaac's socks not staying up.
Walt Disney's Mickey Mouse was such a sock-loser that most of the time (that is always) he never wore any socks at all.
Mary Magdalene was Mary of Magdala, which being decoded - Mag is gam that is, leg, backwards, and dala backwards reveals the problem of the holey sock that ladders on the leg.
Cinderella lost her sock as well as her slipper.
Soccer was once Soccball. Sock it to him. Being legless means no socks at all.
Any word is deeply suspicious if there is nothing about socks in it.