Bonzer Words!: A Perfect Evening
...Wanda had known from the time that she first saw a broom that she was a bona fide witch...
And tonight was a very special night for Wanda, as Colin Fisher's tale reveals.
Wanda had been called 'A Witch' since she had been a small child. Most women would be insulted by being tagged with this name. Not Wanda! Wanda had known from the time that she first saw a broom that she was a bona fide witch. It was not only her appearance. After all, how many small children have a snaggle-toothed grin and a hairy wart on the nose while they are still nursing? How many small children are visited by the black cats of the neighborhood while they are learning to read?
Perhaps you are beginning to wonder as to the effect of these goings-on on Wanda's parents. Wanda's father was a well-known leather worker, whose wallets were prized in the local community. Wanda's mother was a nagging gossip whose opinions could not be avoided at a community gathering of any importance. The attributes of Wanda's parents were well known. However, it was not well known that Wanda's mother had been a witch as a child and also as a youngish woman. Upon reaching an age of desire for regular coupling, Wanda's mother gave up her witchly ways, destroyed her broom and married an up-and-coming wallet maker in the village. In this union, Wanda's mother found true happiness and did no longer miss her broom. When she became pregnant with Wanda her happiness became complete.
When baby Wanda came upon the family scene, Wanda's mother was able to immediately discern the witchliness of her new, baby daughter. This was indeed a new blessing! At the time of this recognition, Wanda's mother fiercely devoted herself to bringing up an important witch.
The foregoing is history. However, tonight was a very important evening for Wanda. As an adult witch, she had availed herself of every opportunity to join in with the other witches in her geographical area to engage herself in a community of witchly pursuits. This seeking of witchly opportunity had not been as difficult as it might sound to the uninitiated. Most straight (non-witchly) persons do not realize that all witches have the innate ability to detect the witchliness of others with whom they may come into contact. This 'power' includes the feature of finding that non-witchly persons are not as socially attractive as are the witchly ones, except for cases of the occurrence of rampant lust. All of these things being as they are, Wanda was well ensconced in the social arms of many of her own type. Her tribal identity was never more complete!
Wanda knew, in her soul, that her witchliness was greater than that of any of her friends and witchly associates. However, tonight it would be necessary to prove it. As the evening progressed, all of the cards of this serious game were dealt to the players and it was nearing time for the players to show all that they could do to confirm their overwhelming witchliness.
We have been speaking of witchliness. How is this quality measured? It is measured amongst the ranks of the witches by the ability of a witch to cast spells. A 'spell' is not about the spelling of words. It is about an ability to interfere with the normal laws of cause and effect; indeed, the laws of science. The casting of a spell by a successful witch will influence our observations in a way that the normal laws of cause and effect will not hold. This is indeed a great power when properly practiced. Witches are so proud of their powers that they occasionally hold meetings in which they compete with each other to show who the greatest witch is. These meetings are called 'spelling bees.' In keeping with folk lore, these meetings are held on special days, such as on the dark of the moon.
The Spelling Bee was well underway. Wanda's turn was next. This was the greatest opportunity of her short life. She knew that she would show the others just how witchly she could be. Then, her name was called. She stepped to the front of the crowd and looked around. This was a wonderful moment. She closed her eyes, gathered her witchly powers in her mind and opened her eyes.
There was a great surge of emotion because she spied, for the first time, a handsome, young leather worker standing at the front of the crowd.
© Colin Fisher
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Colin writes for Bonzer! magazine. Please visit www.bonzer.org.au
