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Useful And Fantastic: The Da Vinci Sock Mystery - 4

Val Yule continues her surreal tale.

To read earlier episodes and other articles by Val please click on http://www.openwriting.com/archives/useful_and_fantastic/

By now the two questors had comandeered a Hovercraft over the North Pole, and were being pursued by a podabear, which was the Sleuthkiller in disguise. One of Pooh's socks was stuck on the North Pole but the other was missing, presumed lost. Holly and Pedo transferred rapidly to a trapezoid that zoomed across the stratosphere. Below they could see mysterious socklines across South America and somewhere above them were mysterious socklines across Mars. But the craters of the Moon were bulging suspiciously with what might have been caterpillars - or - might they be - ?

Pedo continued explaining the legends - leg-ends - which were now becoming clearly geared to one end - the double-end - of homo soccaroo.

The cry 'Godsocks' is actually 'Oddsocks', and the mysterious brotherhood of Oddfellowsocks holds parties in honor of Goldisocks.

'Look!' cried Holly as they dredged a writhing mass of - not seaweed- from the Sockarassa Sea. 'Here is the evidence!' High up in a basket over the Andes, they unravelled the socks and the last tangle was clear. The world would now change for ever, now the truth was known.

Jesus was not who he said he was. He was someone else called Josh, and he never went near Jerusalem. He lived in Cappodoccia and he never washed his disciples' feet because they all wore socks, every dozen pair of them. The only thing that can be taken as fact is that he established the custom of hanging up odd socks on chimney mantelpieces at Christmas. How else did you think this odd idea of Christmas Socks began?

"Wow!" breathed Holly, as she took out her automatic darner to darn the international police now following them in velocipedes. "This will sure change the world." She jumped into her motorised sock, and got lost, unfortunately.

Pedo leaped into the unknown after her.

The two were alone at last. Two socks, and one of them missing.

This is all too much. Indeed yes, a sock can always go over the top.

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