Open Writing

Parenting is a complex and incredibly important skill, sadly not mastered by all. As families become busier, snatching meals at different times, often in front of the television, and increasingly children are encouraged to watch DVDs or play on computers alone in their bedrooms, many are arriving in school with very poor speaking and listening skills.

The most amazing example of this was a little boy, from an English-speaking family, who seemed to have an extremely limited vocabulary. After months of complaints from people that he was swearing all the time and discussions with his mother, who asserted that he never heard words like that at home, I slowly began to realise that the child didn't know what we meant when we asked him not to swear. Eventually, bright red and cringing with embarrassment, I took him out into the corridor and told him exactly which words he mustn't say. When we finally had a swear-free day, and I happily announced that fact to his mum at the school gates; her reply was, "Bloody hell!"

A more disturbing incident happened with another child as we returned to school from a day trip to the zoo. He was an underachieving, six-year-old boy with few friends. I sat with him on the bus and tried to encourage him to talk about the things he'd seen and done during our excursion. It was very hard work; most of his responses were monosyllabic, delivered with almost weary resignation. As we neared our destination, we passed the local video shop and instantly he became animated and enthusiastic. He could barely speak fast enough in his effort to tell me all the gruesome details of the horror films, classified for 18+, he'd watched from that shop.

There was another child who was clearly being abused but despite every effort we seemed unable to help. On her first day of school she stood wailing, rigid and petrified in the corner of the room, where her mother had pushed her through the door. In the end, I gently but firmly lifted her over to the carpet, where the other children were, and sat her with the nursery teachers I hoped she'd be familiar with. Over the months that followed, I watched her lovely character unfold as she went from being a pathetic mute to a lively, smiley little girl in the classroom. Her countenance would change abruptly when she was collected from school each day.

We'd been told that the grandfather had sexually abused the mother as a child, yet she often left this child in his care. We logged every mark on her body, eveiy incident of worrying behaviour and reported our concerns to all the appropriate bodies but nothing seemed to be done. I lost patience one day and told the mother her excuses for the child's poor attendance weren't good enough but I'm afraid it probably did more harm than good. I ought to have tried harder to cultivate a partnership with the woman.

Eventually, they moved away so perhaps we had been making progress.
Another child came from a home which had been raided by police looking for drugs; prostitution was hinted at. They found squalor, a dwelling with little furniture, no food and filth of every description on all the surfaces. He was the middle of six children, by different fathers. His sister and brother brought him to school or he came by himself, never accompanied by an adult.

I taught him in year two, as he approached seven years of age. He'd had very poor attendance up until then but began, slowly, to come more regularly and to make improvements. I persuaded the Educational Social Worker to bring his mum in to look at his work. When she came, I enthused over his progress, praised his improved attendance and showed her his writing and drawings. She took a brief glance, and in front of the child, announced that it was 'crap' then walked out. By the time he reached junior school he was regularly excluded for violent, aggressive behaviour.

These were just a few of the extreme cases. Most of the hundreds of children that I've taught over the years have been within a broad range of happy, healthy, well-adjusted boys and girls. Their parents have cared for and about them to the best of their ability. Many infant and nursery school teachers wish that the 'great powers that be' would pay more attention to the observations and concerns of the professionals involved in the Early Years sector. If only more could be done while the children are still young and before any more damage is inflicted, perhaps there wouldn't be so many desperate problems later on.