Here Comes Treble: The Darker Face Of Bereavement
"When a much-loved person dies, it is as if a black hole has been ripped in our hearts,'' writes Isabel Bradley.
Isabel presents a poem which highlights the family turmoil which can follow bereavment, then points the way to Web sites which offer help to those in turmoil.
When a much-loved person dies, it is as if a black hole has been ripped in our hearts. We suffer emotional, mental and physical torment. Our world seems to have stopped, or been turned upside-down, cracked open, ready to swallow itself and all living things. Nothing will ever be the same.
Further distress is caused when those people drawn close in family ties and warm friendship during a much-loved person’s life become divided in the aftermath of that person’s death.
Apocalypse of the Soul
That void, that turmoil of grief,
Whirls in a deep, dark vortex
Tearing the world apart:
Apocalypse of the soul,
When friendships fracture
And brother beats brother
And sisters tear each other apart -
All over a little trinket,
or a million or two in cash,
or a book they both covet.
Hate pours, stinking,
Through fissures ruptured in the skin of civilised living,
Erupts, flinging rocks of envy and vengeance –
uncaring, unthinking, lashing-out…
Anything to still the bitter pain of loss…
© Isabel Bradley, September 2010
In the words of Jill Lehman, a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in California, ‘We cannot think our way out of grief; we must feel our way through it.’
‘Feeling’ our way through grief, reacting to the pain of emotion without thought, can cause reactions in the days, weeks and months after bereavement to be unpredictable and deeply unpleasant. Sleep disruption, anxiety and panic attacks, inability to cope, loss of interest in what’s happening, tearfulness, irritability and physical symptoms such as colds and ‘flu are all experienced to a greater or lesser degree.
As we try to adjust to our loss, we may behave in uncharacteristic ways, or react aggressively towards fellow mourners.
Death is inevitable. It comes for those we love, and inevitably, at last, for ourselves. Perhaps learning to understand our reactions at a time of bereavement can help us to ‘feel our way through grief’ with dignity.
**
Help is available from counsellors, psychologists, and, if that’s too personal, on the web. Jill Lehman’s article, quoted above, can be found at http://ezinearticles.com/?Grief-and-Bereavement---Understanding-Grief-Reactions&id=3928069
Another helpful website is http://www.bereavementuk.co.uk/
Until next time… ‘here comes Treble!’
© Copyright Reserved
By Isabel Bradley
