Lest It Be Forgotten After I Am Gone: The Steady Years - 3
Raymond Benedyk, continuing his autobiography, tells of a death in the family.
It was about this time that Elsa's mother died. I had never before had the experience of a close family bereavement, although I had witnessed it in others. This wise little lady had finally left us after a short but sharp encounter with breast cancer at the age of 69. Elsa, who had no brothers or sisters with whom she could share her loss, was magnificent, from then on ensuring that her father, who lived only a short distance from us, was more than adequately secured and comfortable in his home that he had shared with his wife. He ate with us every evening and, at the weekends, had lunch and evening meal with us too, and we built our social life around this commitment.
This continued for about two or three years until he one day announced that he had met a lady whom he was intending to marry. Elsa was, perhaps understandably, somewhat startled at this unexpected news but was nevertheless pleased for her father who was obviously quite lonely. We were both somewhat shocked however to also learn that the lady was in fact only eight years older than Elsa. We additionally heard rumours that the lady had worked in his office before his retirement and, although there was never any suggestion of it, suspected that there might well have been a relationship prior to the death of Elsa's mother. The lady in question was a Spanish spinster who had lived in this country for a number of years. She appeared quite devoted to Elsa's father and looked after him nicely.
However, when he died in 1984, there was an immediate change in her demeanour, even while we were still in mourning, in that she began to show signs of suspicion in anything we tried to do to make her life more pleasant; i.e. when we wanted to install a security system in her home she refused to allow the workmen in; when we suggested we organise a move for her into a more conveniently located home (she was a non-driver living in a somewhat isolated bungalow at the top of a hill a distance from public transport and shops), she refused to allow any potential buyers in to view the property (the ownership of which had been left to Elsa).
We felt it to be the last straw in our association when she offered to return to her family in Spain, if we sold the bungalow and gave her almost all of the proceeds. We did not like her attitude and decided to let her remain in the premises for as long as she wished (rent free as had been agreed in Elsa's father's will,) which she did for the following few years, only occasionally contacting us to report the need for some repair or other, which Elsa had to pay for, until one day we were notified by a neighbour that she had moved away, leaving this neighbour with the keys. We have no idea where she went, maybe back to Spain, but we never heard from her again.
At the end of 1976, Stephen with Diane, the young lady who had accompanied him to America, returned and announced that they were engaged to be married. We were, of course, overjoyed and began to make plans for the nuptials. Understandably, Diane and her parents had their ideas and we had ours, all of which necessitated deep negotiations and compromise. However, all was very successfully concluded and the young couple were married on July 31st 1977. It was a very happy occasion and all the guests appeared to enjoy themselves.
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If you wish to make a donation to the Elsa Benedyk Memorial Fund, set up by her friends and colleagues entirely without Raymon’s knowledge to provide funds to support the children's ward of the Shaare Zedek Hospital in Jerusalem to commemorate her life of work with children in her nursery schools, it would be most gratefully received. The amount that you give will not be revealed to Raymon. He is not a trustee of the fund. Your cheque, payable to the Fund, should be sent to the fund's Treasurer Mrs I Dokelman, 14 Charville Court, 30/32 Gayton Road, Harrow, Middx HA1 2HT.
