Open Writing

Persons say that they are happy with their job, their spouse, their house, their neighbors and so forth. This is all wonderful; but what does it mean to be happy?

Happiness, from the word 'hap,' meaning 'luck,' is the result of an absence of fears and/or unfulfilled desires associated with the thing with which one is happy. Fears and unfulfilled desires are two sides of the same coin. For example, one can fear that her desires will not be fulfilled or she may desire that her fears will not come to manifestation. In any case, these are the roots of a lack of happiness.

If you are perfectly happy, you may be stupid or a non-recognized saint. Most of us find that there are things that have become part of our lives that are a source of unhappiness. Some of the religious folks blame the unhappy persons for such as greed, jealousy or even say that we are victims of the evil set loose in the Garden of Eden. When I was a lad, my father set me to work in the garden; I must say that it did not contribute to my happiness. Oh, I know that many persons find great joy in working their gardens. I am not one of them; perhaps it was because I was forced to work. To be perfectly honest, my father's garden was a twenty-acre truck farm that produced vegetables to be sold in local markets. But, I have digressed . . .

Let's talk about fear. If you fear that something will happen in the future, and that bothers you, there are some things that you can do (and not do) to alleviate your distress. Firstly, it is important to keep in mind that the thing you fear is problematical. That is, it may never occur. If you know that it is going to occur, regardless of your actions, then there is nothing you can do except worry about its coming, making you miserable. You need to sell yourself on the notion that worry is worthless and debilitating. After all, eventual death is certain for all of us and no amount of worry is going to change that. Easy for me to say! What can you do? Well, you can find an activity that is sufficiently distracting that there is little or no time left for worry. Another alternative is to enroll in a meditation class where you can learn to reduce the amount of thinking that you do. After all, when you are not thinking, you are not worrying.

What about desire? The Buddha is said to have identified desire as the root of all suffering. In my opinion, suffering equals unhappiness. Some of us might say that desire is a good thing. We desire 'good' things such as more education, higher pay, a more-forgiving spouse, more grandchildren, etc. Perhaps those religious folks were close to the truth, perhaps such desires are greed. Regardless of what they are, when they are unfulfilled, they make us unhappy.

So what can one do about unfulfilled desire? Well, you can just keep on desiring or, as in the case of fear, you can find a distraction to keep you from settling on this pointed stake. For example, supposing you desire a new car because the old one isn't pretty any longer; but, you can't afford a new car. Well, you could buy a used car that is prettier than the car that you now have. Alternatively, you could forget cars, since the old one gets you to work just fine, and get a gorgeous bicycle with lots of cool features. Hey, this is just a distraction! You might even join a club of other cyclists. This is another fine distraction. You may even enjoy the club more than you would enjoy paying for a new car. Whether it is literally true, or not, it is up to you to convince yourself that you have discovered a path to happiness.

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Colin writes for Bonzer! magazine. Please visit www.bonzer.org.au