Open Writing

Jamie and Milt were very good friends. They each had been homeless for more than two years. They had met 'on the street' and they lived 'on the street.' Living on the street is not such a bad thing, unless you happen to be living somewhere where it becomes beastly cold in the winter and you have no shelter. Everything else that is needed for survival can be begged, borrowed or stolen.

Well, a person might not be arrayed in tonsorial splendour; however, with proper dignity each person can be as beautifully clothed as the next one. Living in a large city can be a good thing if you are homeless. Large cities have many charitable institutions where food, clothing and some medical care is readily available for the homeless.

Jamie had been having a problem in recent times. He had been taking two meals a day at the Salvation Army Soup Kitchen on Ninth Avenue for two years running. The food was good and, if you appeared a bit run down, some nice soul would come forth and take you into the Thrift Shop and help you to pick out a new wardrobe. But now Jamie was in trouble. The last time he went to the Soup Kitchen for breakfast, he had reached out and pinched the server on her left breast. The server screamed and hit Jamie with a large ladle, normally used for serving oatmeal. Milt had stood by and laughed his head off. Jamie could see the humour and muttered, 'What does she expect, lookin' like she does?' The next thing Jamie and Milt knew, the manager had sprung forth and thrown both of them onto the street, telling them, 'Don't either of you ever come back here!'

Milt looked a Jamie and said, 'Jamie, mate, you and I have got to find a new restaurant. We are not welcome here any longer.'

Jamie then said, 'I'm sorry, Milt, I lost control of my pinch fingers and that cute little feel certainly wasn't worth us gettin' thrown out of our favourite restaurant.'

Milt looked at his friend and said, 'Jamie, for the next few days, let's eat down the street at the Rescue Mission. I know the grub isn't as good as it is at the Army's place; but, give me a few days for us to find a new restaurant.' Jamie and Milt continued to walk down the street as they did every day. Their next meal was at the Rescue Mission. As they went through the cafeteria line, Jamie screwed up his face, 'Milt, this place doesn't begin to hold a candle to the Army. Everything they serve here tastes like it's old and spoiled.'

Milt said, 'Just wait, I am going to get us in wonderful restaurant and it won't cost a dime.'

Three days later, Milt approached Jamie and told him, 'Come with me. I have found a new and great place for us to eat. All we have to do is as I say.' He threw his arm around Jamie and walked him down a street that was strange to Jamie. They came to a door in the wall of a building and Milt said, 'Step through that door. Then I want for you to follow me down a corridor to another door. I will open that door and you and I are going to step through it. When we get through the door we will be in a new cafeteria. All you need do is act like everyone else that you will see there. Grab a tray and some forks and spoons and get in line with everyone else. Hey, the food here is great!'

At the appropriate time, Milt and Jamie stepped through a doorway and found themselves in a large cafeteria. Jamie immediately noticed that everyone in the room, besides themselves, was dressed in a military uniform, both men and women. Jamie looked around, saw a pile of trays, and got into the line to get food. He looked back at Milt and said, 'This is a fine mess you've got me into!'

© Colin Fisher

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Colin writes for Bonzer! magazine. Please visit www.bonzer.org.au