Skidmore's Island: Intermess
Ian Skidmore foresees doom an gloom in the UK if the internet is switched off.
Until the advent of Diana the Huntress one would have hesitated to breed from the royal family. Earlier litters have included two murderers, three bigamists, at least one barking madman (see History of the Court of England), a traitor, Prince Andrew the Salty,Duke of Pork and Prince Edward of sex known in an earlier incarnation as a tea boy to Lloyd Webber as Dockland Daisy.
The Prince of Wales is too old to breed, though Camilla comes from sound stock with a good breeding record. I am a Monarchist solely because of the two young princes by Charles out of Diana. Doesn't always work. The darling Queen Mother, who many believe was the daughter of a Welsh maidservant (See Majesty by Judith Kelley), only threw off one decent foal though. I have the highest hopes of Prince William and the Middleton filly.
I am deeply worried about the country they will inherit after reading the Independent newspaper. This has become such an intermess that a world in which the internet suddenly goes down or is switched off is hard to imagine. The Hollywood-sized scenario reads like this: email, telephone and television services would go dark; media organisations become unable to gather and disseminate news; governments struggle to communicate emergency information; commerce grinds to a halt, shops run out of food; the transport system collapses and electricity supplies are severely disrupted.
Within months, gangs of feral youths would take over the towns, cannibalising the weak and elderly, while citizens trembled behind barricaded doors. In Britain, apparently, there are two pieces of legislation which give the Government power to order the suspension of the internet and, in theory, bring about web Armageddon. The Civil Contingencies Act and the 2003 Communications Act can both be used to suspend internet services, either by ordering internet service providers (ISPs) to shut down their operations or by closing internet exchanges. Under the protocol of the Communications Act, the switch-flicking would be done by the Culture Secretary. In the eyes of the legislature, Jeremy Hunt is the man invested with the power to send us back to the dark ages. Not a particularly long journey. About as far back as Callaghan's Labour Govt. but it's nice to know we can accept with impunity China's kindly offer of a £50 million spy system for the Tube. Just as long as they show us the off switch.
