Open Writing

How do you wish to be remembered when you die? As an achiever of great things, as a person who led an exciting life and had a lot of money, or as a good friend?

At funerals Father Steve often tells people that the most successful lives are those that are built on relationships.

I can well believe it. I sometimes operate the church's sound system during funerals. Services for people who truly devoted themselves to loving others usually have a very special atmosphere. They are sad occasions and there is a lot of crying, but the warmth of the mourners' love is palpable.

With the exception of great artists and inventors, very few of us leave any trace of our personal achievements after we die. But we all leave a legacy through our treatment of the people around us.

Our kindness and thoughtfulness towards others changes them more than we can ever know. I have seen that firsthand.

I have always enjoyed drawing but I used to lack confidence in my ability. Father Steve saw my pictures and encouraged me to produce more. Thanks to his kind words I now draw regularly and take great satisfaction from it.

Father Steve's encouragement is his legacy to me. If I live to be a 120 and enjoy drawing as a hobby, even then there will be a little bit of him in my act of picking up a pencil.

All human beings are joined together in a vast net of interconnected relationships. Everything we do affects others. If we make our influence on others a positive thing it is something that may outlive us for centuries.

When we abuse and hurt others it also has results that spread far beyond the length of our natural lives. That can be seen in families where a father abuses his son because his father once abused him.

One can only imagine in such families that back in the Victorian era or earlier there was an original abuser whose malignancy is still being felt generations later.

So, how do you wish to be remembered when you die?