Sandy's Say: E-Volvo-lution
"It felt like the severance of the last remnant of the umbilical cord. I watched my son, my only child, reverse the family car down the driveway and set off on his first, solo drive as a newly licensed driver. He wore a triumphant grin, scarcely able to believe the enormous amount of trust and responsibility which we (and the Roads and Traffic Authority) had finally granted him,'' writes ace columnist Sandy James.
For more of Sandy's delectable columns please click on http://www.openwriting.com/archives/sandys_say/
It felt like the severance of the last remnant of the umbilical cord. I watched my son, my only child, reverse the family car down the driveway and set off on his first, solo drive as a newly licensed driver. He wore a triumphant grin, scarcely able to believe the enormous amount of trust and responsibility which we (and the Roads and Traffic Authority) had finally granted him.
He was now qualified as a P-plater. Officially the 'P' stands for "probationary" but some of those in his demographic (young, inexperienced, bullet-proof, speeding males) who have gone before him have behaved so badly that they are commonly known as pea-brainers.
At seventeen he was discovering the joint thrills of independence and freedom. All I could do now was release him to the mercy of the Sydney traffic and hope that the driving coaching which I'd given him would stand him in good stead.
He wasn't the only one relieved that a year's worth of chaperoned driving was behind him. It was I who had spent most of the previous year in the seat beside him, to the point where I've told my husband that if he thinks his son drives like a girl, then he has only himself to blame.
In fact, other than a few seat-clutching moments in the very beginning, my man-child conducted himself extremely well. I, for one, would not have liked to have learned to drive in the frenetic, unforgiving traffic of a major city. Just trying to locate the correct lane for crossing the Harbour Bridge requires nerves as tough as beef jerky and Schumacheresque tailgating skills.
Early on, there were two things which I warned my learner driver to watch out for. The first was wildlife, such as wallabies and possums. At dusk they often try to cross over a nearby road which runs through the National Park. There is a reason why the most commonly seen Australian marsupials are the flat headed variety.
The second warning was to be wary of people who wear hats whilst driving. I say this, not from unfounded prejudice, but from experience. If a person has forgotten to remove his or her hat before climbing behind the steering wheel then the chances are that some of his or her other faculties might be a bit dodgy too.
"What about Volvo drivers? Don't we have to watch out for them as well?" queried my son, with a cheeky smile.
Why is it, I wondered, that Volvo drivers universally have a reputation which precedes them? Is it because cars which value safety above all else attract a more cautious type of driver?
Volvo has recently announced that they are taking safety to the next level. They are evolving their pedestrian detection and avoidance system, which uses radar and an infra-red camera, to recognise wild animals. For now, the system has been designed to recognise the head-to-body ratio of large animals such as deer, moose and cows but the unique shape of Australian fauna, such as wombats, emus and kangaroos, is foiling the sophisticated gadget. Australian engineers have been called in to work on this project.
I say forget it. Their time and skills could be used more profitably. There is a far bigger demand for a device which detects the presence of P-platers and Volvo drivers wearing hats.
