Open Writing

"What we think of as "presence" is nothing more than a heightened awareness of the present moment. It is us being present in the present. Presence is what we feel when we blot out extraneous details and focus on the tiny changes that occur second by second,'' writes Leanne Hunt.

A moving story was told to me about a wedding ceremony conducted for a young couple where the woman had terminal cancer. The person relating the story confessed, "I didn't know what to say. I wanted to offer some comfort, but I was at a loss. And yet there was a definite presence there that was so real to us all."

I thought about this afterwards. What is this indescribable presence we talk about? We know what we mean by it in sensory terms. It is a sort of marked significance, an atmosphere that prevents outside distractions from entering in, a powerful energy that binds those in a room together.. Charismatic Christians refer to it as God's presence, which is to make it even more intimate, as if the Father of creation were bringing His sovereign grace into the midst of a congregation and literally breathing on them with His Holy Spirit.

Indeed, there are many contemporary Christian choruses that focus on this theme. I think of the following:
"Let Your glory fall in this room, / Let it flow out from here to the nations; / Let Your fragrance rest in this place, / As we gather to seek Your face."

And again:
"I believe the promise about the visions and the dreams; / That the Holy Spirit will be poured out and His power will be seen. / Well, the time is now and the place is here and the people have come in faith; / There is not one thing that can't be done when Your presence is in this place!"

And one other example:
"Hold me close, let Your love surround me, / Bring me near, draw me to Your side; / And as I wait, I'll rise up like an eagle, / And I will soar with You, Your Spirit leads me on, in the power of Your love!"

These are stirring lyrics, and they are set to glorious melodies. Sing them in the company of a thousand passionate worshippers and you are guaranteed a spiritual experience. The sweet, tinkling clarity of the piano is joined by the full-bodied swell of the strings … the trumpets burst in to take the music towards its climax … the cymbals clash and are followed by a thundering roll of drums - and then there is silence. The mass of worshippers hold their breath. In the holy hush, an unaccompanied female voice begins to sing, "I am here … I am here … listen to what I have to say …" That is the presence of God.

Or is it? Have we not mixed up divine presence with an emotional high? There is no doubt that beautiful, spontaneous singing in a moment of sheer absorption is tremendously evocative, reaching into the depths of our hearts and perhaps even bringing forth a gut-wrenching sob - but what is it that actually captivates our attention? Is it the silence? Is it the purity of the singer's voice? Is it the words that she utters, or the seemingly inspired way they issue forth?

I have come to the conclusion that it is none of these. What we think of as "presence" is nothing more than a heightened awareness of the present moment. It is us being present in the present. Presence is what we feel when we blot out extraneous details and focus on the tiny changes that occur second by second. Like the delicate pressure of our breath on our lips as we exhale. Like the ever-so-subtle sent of a person's skin. Like the faint glow that emanates from dust particles in the air, as if something … someone … is there, but we can't quite make out their form.

We are so accustomed to rushing through life on a superficial level that moments of pure stillness are rare. They only happen when we intentionally pause to savor the present or when something of sufficient magnitude occurs to make us stall. It takes a few minutes for the rapid momentum to slow and for all the images, sounds, smells, tastes and tactile sensations to subside. Like glass falling to the ground after a motor accident, they finally all settle, leaving in their wake an incredible sense of nothingness. It is as if a gap has opened up in time … as if a vacuum has opened up in space … and we are suspended, not knowing what to do next.

The experience can be frightening for one who is new to it. The emptiness is disquieting. As if unwilling to accept this state, a person's psyche may react by producing its own hallucinatory stimuli. Visions, voices and illusory impressions of scent, flavor and temperature may crowd in on him. Instead of being aware of the actual emptiness of the moment, he is overwhelmed by competing sensations that threaten to drive him mad.

While this influx of psychic stimulation is fascinating from the point of view of psychology - pointing to repressed memories and the collective unconscious - it obviously denies the person the opportunity of experiencing the presence that others talk about. Comparable to sleep deprivation, it condemns the person to perpetual mental activity, a hell of never-ending restlessness.

That's why, when a crisis occurs that brings everything to a halt and renders ordinary concerns meaningless, it can feel like a blessed intervention. It is why people talk of finding peace when they are in extreme suffering. The triumph of the cross is the knowledge of pure, unsullied consciousness at the heart of physical agony. It is a breakthrough of momentous proportions. Time stands still. The brain erects a shield to temporal influences. All that remains is the awareness of presence.

Surely, to experience this presence is to know life in all its fullness? It is life concentrated into its essence and expanded into every corner of our being. The clutter of objects, events, memories and expectations vanishes from our mind, leaving it clear and alert. Only the now matters. Only the precious moment of calm.

Indeed, this is what all the stirring worship songs are intended to deliver. This is what focused meditation on a candle is meant to achieve. The knowledge of the now. The intimate experience of "I Am" beyond definition and association. The boundless continuum that is eternity.

Do you feel it?

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For more of Leanne's thoughtful and inspiring words please click on http://www.openwriting.com/archives/through_lattice_windows/