Sandy's Say: Proverbial Ponderings
"I was perusing multicultural proverbs, as one does, when I discovered that Australia is rather underrepresented in this department.'' writes Sandy James. "Here is my attempt to rectify this lamentable situation:
* Where there's smoke, there's a man who does not know how to barbeque properly.
* The bread always falls Vegemite side down.
* The only good mosquito is a dead mosquito.
* One blowfly does not make a summer.
* If it is a Cityrail train, then it is usually late, or never.
* It is a wise man who keeps the possum poop out of his rainwater tank.
* What goes up and up, must be the Harbour Bridge toll.
* All Sydney roads lead to congestion.
* The early kookaburra wakes the whole neighbourhood.
* All that is reddish is not iron ore.
* Strike, anytime you like.
* An Australian can never be too laconic or too egalitarian.
* He who puts the wrong recycling bins out first, confuses the neighbours.
* A shark by any other name is called flake and chips.
* You can lead a horse to water but when you get there it may have dried up.
* An ice cold beer in the hand is worth a six pack which has been in the sun.
* It never rains, or it floods.
* If the surf is dumping, make sure you wear a tight fitting bikini.
* If you lie down with bandicoots, you will get up with ticks.
* If your swimming pool is always greener than the one on the other side, then your chemicals are unbalanced.
* All sleep and no play makes koalas very dull to watch.
* Put off today what you can do tomorrow.
* Where there are blowflies, there's roadkill.
* He who is lazy with the sunscreen will pay with melanomas later.
* Beer and water do not mix.
* Only a fool crosses the hot sand without thongs on his feet.
* One hand washes the other, but why bother.
* A lot of what you fancy makes you obese.
* If you can't stand the heat, get an air conditioner.
* It is a wise man who avoids the queue by having his lawn mower serviced in winter.
* Let sleeping octopi lie, lest they be of the toxic, blue-ringed variety.
* A kangaroo by any other name is probably a wallaby.
* Life's not all beer and schooners.
* When the drought gets tough, the not-so-tough give up watering their lawns and spray paint them green instead.
* The best way to a man's heart is to feign an interest in the cricket.
* And finally, if you only need one side of the church at a wedding, then you are definitely in Tasmania.
**
For more of Sandy's gloriously entertaining words please click on http://www.openwriting.com/archives/sandys_say/
