Open Writing

I did not have one myself so I don't understand the fuss about education. There must be cheaper ways of keeping children off our backs. The things we teach!

Science and law and rhetoric are what universities were invented for. The rest is jobs for the boys.

Just imagine. It is the Middle Ages and there are these three villeins and one says: "What line you in, then?"

"I teach law at the university."

"Teach? What is teach?"

"I stand up in front of these kids and I tell them how to be lawyers."

"Could end up with more lawyers than jobs."

"Ain't that the truth? But we solved it. The ones don't get jobs, they teach other kids to be lawyers. What’s your line?"

"I write books, but the pay is lousy."

"You should teach. Three months’ holiday a year. All found."

"What can I teach? I just sit down and write."

"It’s not what you teach. It’s what you call it. Let’s see. Books. Latin, ‘libra’. Librature? Doesn't have a ring. That’s it, Literature. You married?"

"On my wages?"

"So you're a bachelor. Great. Bachelor of Arts."

The third villein says could they find him a job and the first chap says: "What do you do?"

"Not a lot. I keep a diary."

“Your Story. Let’s run that up the flagpole and see if it waves...Hang about.Teach what is in everyone else's diary - His Story. You'll do a bomb."

"But I don't KNOW what's in everyone's diary."

"Use your imagination, everyone else did. The Romans claimed they were descended from a wolf and there was this Greek guy Herodotus who invented men whose heads grew out of their chests. Never looked back."

That is how education was born.