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U3A Writing: Letter To An Agony Aunt

If you think you've got problems then prepare to smile them away as you read Mike Eastwood's letter to an agony aunt.

Dear Auntie Thelma,
My wife has left me. My eldest daughter is pregnant and does not know who the father is. I have lost my job and my youngest daughter is on the game. On top of all that the dog has died and I have just burnt the toast. What should I do?

Forlorn of Bedford


Dear Forlorn of Bedford,
What a lucky man you are. You no longer have to support a nagging wife and your pregnant daughter can stay at home and look after you. Your younger daughter should, with a little management, be able to provide for you all. And now you do not have to get up and take the dog for a walk, you can stay in bed and live a life of leisure.
Sorry about the toast

Auntie Thelma

* * *

Dear Auntie Thelma
Whatever should I do
My wife has gone and left me
And run away to Crewe
Dear Auntie Thelma
I think I'm in a mess
My daughters on the game again
And my son has torn his dress
Dear Auntie Thelma
I'm getting in a stew
My manager just sacked me
And Ive nothing left to do
Dear Auntie Thelma
Please forget it all
I've just won on the lottery
And I'm going to have a ball!


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