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Poetry Pleases: Aquarobics

It’s difficult to hold a conversation in an aquarobics class, as Betty Collins’s strenuous poem reveals.

Aquarobics: Senior’s Class

I wonder how old she is? She’s very grey.
She’s fatter than I am, too. ‘Hullo. How
Are you?’ ‘Good thanks’ (Oo, the water’s cold!)
Oh Goodness, the water is rather cool today, isn’t it.
‘Is this the first time you’ve come to this class?

GOOD MORNING EVERYBODY.
NOW I WANT EVERYBODY TO FACE ME AND
STRETCH OUT YOUR ARMS TO THE SIDES -

What is your name? Sssh.

NOW RAISE YOUR LEFT KNEES AS HIGH AS YOU CAN NO BARBARA, HILDA, I SAID YOUR LEFT KNEES….
KEEPING YOUR LEFT KNEES RAISED,
NOW RISE UP ON YOUR RIGHT TOES
DON'T LOSE YOUR BALANCE
BRING YOUR HANDS TO THE FRONT.
KEEPING YOUR HANDS TO THE FRONT
NOW SLOWLY LOWER YOUR LEFT FOOT
AND RAISE YOUR RIGHT KNEE AS HIGH AS YOU CAN KEEPING YOUR LEFT FOOT FLAT ON THE BOTTOM - I WANT YOU TO SLOWLY LOWER YOUR RIGHT ARM
KEEPING YOUR RIGHT KNEE RAISED AS HIGH AS
WHAT'S THAT YVONNE? YOU'RE FALLING OVER. NO, NO, NO
TRY IT AGAIN
RIGHT FOOT FLAT ON THE BOTTOM.
LEFT KNEE RAISED. NOW, WITH YOUR LEFT HAND ON YOUR LEFT HIP, SLOWLY BRING YOUR RIGHT HAND ACROSS AND GRASP YOUR LEFT KNEE.
VERY GOOD. GIVE YOURSELF A CLAP!

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