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Poetry Pleases: Counselling

"Whereas unholy male persons who commit foul play should be made
To suffer''

To get the best of Betty Collins's polemic poem, glance over your shoulder, make sure nobody is hovering near you and the computer screen, then read - or rather chant - it aloud.

I am so glad that Im alive in the days of Counselling
Which enables me to get on with the rest of my life:
If I wasnt alive in the days of Counseling
I might well have been dead quite a long time ago.
O-H-W-O-O-O-O-OE ooooooOOOOOOOOOooo

My thoughts fly, O Lord, now and forever to Dido, beautiful princess of Tyre, immolated on a cruel, steaming, fiery, pyre
With the benefit of Counselling she could have waved cruel Aeneas on his way and waited for the better fish that were surely coming out of the sea, O-O-O-O-Lord OOOooooOOOO

And also patient Penelope, she could have settled for one of the suitors, and got on with the rest of her life,
Instead of weaving and unpicking fruitlessly waiting for philandering philandering Ulysses ! ULYSSES!!
Anyone could have told her he would only bugger off again, tout suite
Any-any-anyway
So I thank thee again O Lord, that thou hast brought me through to this enlightened time
When getting on with the rest of my life is an easily attainable FELICITY
Not like unfortunate women in days of yore when miscreants got away
Not only forever, but also, oh woe !

S-C-O-O-O-O-O-O-ooooooooooT F-R-R-E-E-e-e-e-e-e-

Whereas unholy male persons who commit foul play should be made
To suffer SUUFFER Suffer suffer

And the more they suffer the more we enjoy the most blessed sense of

Closure cloooooooooooosureeeeee (fading)

Glory be to the Counsellors,
To the Holy Government that keeps them in Bread:
And glory be to us, Mothers and Daughters,
Getting on with the rest of our lives;
Forever and ever
A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-Amen.

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