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Poetry Pleases: Three Sheets To The Wind

Helga Lomas tells us of Old Ted, who found comfort and consolation in his “local’’.

Old Ted had had a skin full, which was not unusual for a Friday night.
He’d spend all his money. He’d never earned as you and I might.

The old cottage which was his home was falling apart.
For any repairs he’d not have the money or the heart.

So now he spent his time in the pub in a haze,
Taking it easy like a horse that’s been put out to graze.

After the bell went he’d have another swift half and then
Come back tomorrow and do it all over again.

It was on a night such as many before,
He stood fumbling with the key at the door,

When a sudden pain made him grasp his aching head.
The following morning they found him dead.

On his tombstone for all to see were written these words.
‘Here lies a man who was always skint,
But he was happy when three sheets to the wind‘.


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