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Bonzer Words!: The Final Fling

Helena Sheridan's jolly, kilted poem reminds one and all that it is never too late for a final fling.

Helena writes for Bonzer! magazine. Please visit www.bonzer.org.au

The day oor Jean got married
It caused such a tae do,
She'd vowed she'd wait for Mr Right
But was nearly eighty two!
"I'm just no wan for hurryin'
I like tae bide my time"
But waiting for romance tae come
Poor Jean had passed her prime.

Infatuation's funny,
It never seems too late
For Jeannie met a toy boy,
A lad of seventy-eight.
A pensioner from Gourock,
Became her heart's pursuit,
Wi' glasses and a trolley eye
And baldy heid tae boot.

But true love asks no questions,
Some say that love is blind,
She met him at the Hospital,
Their Zimmer frames entwined.
No whisperin' sweet nothings
Or soft romantic quips.
For both were hard of hearing,
They read each other's lips.

A diamond ring he gave her,
Oor Jean was filled with glee
We only hoped they baith survived
The three year guarantee.
And then there was the trousseau,
God help them how we smiled
Tae see the stack of 'lingerie'
She'd bought tae drive him wild.

A pile of knee length bloomers,
And sixty denier hose,
And nighties made of flannelette,
The lovestruck female chose.
I remember Jeannie's weddin'
But it didnae stop at that
She met a fancy man last year,
And now THEY share a flat!

@ Helena Sheridan


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