Yorkshire Dialect: Bringin' Jack Daan Ter Earth
Mike Shaw's broad Yorkshire musings may puzzle - but this really is how many of us spoke in this part of the world 50 and more years ago. And some of us still do.
Give it a go. Work out the meaning. You may eventually qualify as an honorary citizen of the county of broad acres.
More of Mike's dialect musings will be appearing on Fridays in Open Writing.
Whahle Ah wer walking daan ter t' club wi' Jack Bamforth t' other neet, 'e telled me abaat a letter 'e'd 'ad fra an owd mate o' yars 'at lives i' Portsmouth.
"Ah wer fair capped wen Ah looked at t' pooastmark an' saw it' ad tekken three days ter get 'ere," 'e sed.
"It 'ad a first-class stamp on it an' Ah reckon it should 'ave arrahved t' day afta it wer pooasted naah they've getten this new technology, lahke machines ter sooart letters asteead o' doin' it bi 'and.
Jack wer a tuner in t' mill till 'e retahred, sooa 'e knows awl th' ins an' aats o' these modern gadgets, or at leeast 'e reckons 'e does.
Afta we'd getten sat daan wi' us ale, Albert Dyson joined in t' conversation. E's allis bin a bit of a show-off, an' 'e 'ad ter gooa one better ner Jack bi tellin' us abaat 'is personal computer.
"Tha'r way behand tahmes tha nooas, Bill," 'e sed ter me. "It's amazin' wat they can do thees days, wat wi' fax machines, e-mail an' th' Internet."
"Wat the ummer's Internet?" Ah asked. "It saands lahke summat yar Ethel maht put on 'er yed ter gooa ter bed in."
Jack put daan 'is pahnt an' telled Albert it wer awl too mich fer t' lahkes o' me ter tek in.
"Tha can't really explain it baat bein' able ter see t' machines workin'," 'e sed, looking reight serious.
"Dosta know, tha can send summat written on a piece o' paper ter t' other sahde o' t' world in nobbut a few minnits.
"An't' latest thing they're doin' is sendin' messages inta outer space, just i' case ther's some aliens 'at can pick 'em up."
"Nivver mahnd tellin' aliens abaat us," Ah replahd. "They'n job enuf keepin' us 'appy daan 'ere.
"Yond pooastcard Ah sent thee fra Blackpool last summer nobbut just beeat us back wom at th' end o' t' week.
"Appen it'd getten 'ere a bloomin' lot quicker if Ah'd tekken Ethel ter t' Mooin fer us 'olidays!"
