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Yorkshire Dialect: Donkey Wark

They are talking football down at the Club. Discussing the merits, or lack of them, of the local team Huddersfield Town.

Mike Shaw brings us another sprightly conversation piece in Yorkshire dialect.

Wen Ah gate daan ter t' club one neet last week mi mates wer 'avin' a reight set-to ovver fooitball.

One or two on 'em wer sayin' aah gooid a teeam Taan wer naah, but Jack Bamforth replahd 'at 'e didn't know aah they'd managed ter win sooa monny matches.

"Ah went daan ter wetch 'em last Setdy an' they wer a reight looad o' rubbish," 'e sed. "There weren't one on 'em 'at could pass wind, ne'er 'need t' ball."

"Ah well, tha caught 'em on a bad day that wer awl," reckoned Jooa Sykes.

"An' dooan't forget, they'd a few men aat injured sooa they couldn't laike their best teeam."

Ah took a first sup o' mi pahnt an' chipped in: "Ah dooan't know wat fooitballers are made of thees days.

"Wen Ah used ter wetch Taan afooar t' war some o' t' teeam went awl seeason baat missin' a game. Naahdays tha's nobbut ter breeathe on 'em an' they go daan lahke dominoes. An' i' yar day awl t' trainer needed wer smellin' salts an' 'is magic sponge.

"Thees 'ere psychiatrists or physiotherapists or wativver tha calls 'em 'ave sooa mich tackle they'n a job ter get up off t' bench, nivver mahnd run on ter t' field.

"Wen they lay awl their stuff aat on t' pitch it's just lahke a mobile 'ospital."

Jooa gate reight 'ot unda t' collar at that an' sed me an' Jack wer livin' in t' past.

"Fooitballers terday are akin ter thoroughbred racehorses, nooan donkeys lahke they wer wen yo lot wer lads," 'e chuntered.

"Well, that just abaat sez it awl," Ah replahd. "They'n getten shut o' t' donkey wark an' naah thees pedigree performers reckon they've nobbut ter run fahve furlongs!"


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