Open Writing

Chatted the other day to a friend who has three teenage sons. He’s a Reflexologist. Fascinating stuff. He has a chart showing how each part of the sole of the foot is linked to an area of the body. There’s even a special area for the unmentionable bits.

‘The boys must love this,’ I said. ‘When they want to masturbate, all they have to do is take of a shoe off and rub that bit. They can do it in public and nobody will notice!’ He didn’t find that funny. Not that I thought he would. Actually, I thought he’d find it logical. It makes sense in terms of the way Reflexology says the body is designed.

Design came into another chat, this time with a Bible-believing Christian. She’s very interested in iridology.

‘Isn’t it all mumbo-jumbo?’ I asked.

No, it isn’t, she reassured me. It’s all part of God’s design and so it makes complete sense.

‘And you also believe in astrology? I mean, that’s very much part of God’s design. It gives the sun, moon and planets a purpose.’

No, that isn’t part of God’s design, she told me. But she couldn’t explain why one kind of mumbo-jumbo is in God’s design and the other isn’t. That’s odd, because the three wise gentlemen who journeyed to see the baby Jesus were astrologers. Astrology is firmly in the design of the Christmas story.

Not too long ago in Australia, we read an extraordinary announcement by a Government minister — it’s OK to teach ‘Intelligent Design’ in school Science lessons. A letter of protest was sent to Australian newspapers. It was signed by 70,000 academics, researchers and teachers. We already have junk foods. Perhaps their letter will help to stem the inflow of junk science.

A proponent of ‘Intelligent Design’ theory explained that when he gets to a certain point in his research, he has to assume that someone or something created the item he’s studying. That creative force, he said, can’t be identified by Science. In other words, when you can’t find the answer, you give up. That is the very antithesis of Science, which does not claim to know all the answers but opens ways of seeking for them.

Mind you, some good might come out of all this. The Bible makes it clear that God created ‘creeping things’ before men and women. We must include bacteria in that category, as they aren’t beasts of the field or fowls of the air. We humans could not exist if our intestines were not packed with bacteria and, no doubt, other tiny creeping things keeping our bodies alive and functioning.

Tiny creeping things keep our soil alive. Without them, we would not be able to grow our fruit and vegetables, would we? Good heavens, we even buy tiny creeping things in plastic tubs at supermarkets, for our digestive systems! ‘Intelligent Design’ will help us to realise that tiny creeping things are far more important than humans in the created world. We depend upon them, totally.

Meanwhile, as ‘Intelligent Design’ theory is the thin end of the ‘Creation Science’ wedge, we might consider an anti-evolutionary proposition put forward by a ‘Creation Science’ writer. He pointed out that Jewish boys have been routinely circumcised for thousands of years. If Evolution were a fact, then it would have given rise to Jewish males being born without foreskins. Science? I think not. It’s a pathetic and deliberate misunderstanding of the theory of natural selection.

Perhaps some of these folk indulge in too much rubbing of the soles of their feet... and you know what that causes. Stop it at once! You’ll grow hair on the palms of your hands.

© Copyright 2006 Brian Barratt