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Here's Alison: The Tale Of Toby Russell Rhodes

Alison Ross writes with relish about Toby Russell Rhodes, a Jack Rusell terrier that was erroneously registered as a voter in the 2005 New Zealand election.

Far, far away in a land, Down-under
There came such a roar, of bureaucratic thunder
All from the mouth of one Murray Wicks
Who objected quite strongly, to Peter Rhodes's tricks
He jumped up and down, near foamed at the mouth
Threatened Pete with the police, down there in the South.
Now Peter was frustrated, with the Lakes District plan
As he tried to subdivide his land
So he thought "What the hell, I値l play a wee joke
Their bureaucratic nonsense, is getting to folk."
So that day when a form in the post came in sight,
An idea emerged, just like a white light.
"Those guys are so stupid, I知 sure they池e not human.
I値l fill in this form and get them all fuming,
I値l enroll my dog Toby in the General Election
Signed with a paw-print, it will be perfection!
What a joke it will be," but he wasn稚 to know
That somehow or rather, 全omebody was slow
For he didn稚 imagine it would look bonafide
Having Toby`s paw print there on the side.
But Toby received by the return mail selection
A Voters Card for the General Election!
"My eyes must be blind;" he rubbed them to see
"Who 粗lse is enrolled, that just shouldn稚 be?"
Now he痴 in the doghouse, and Wicks is jumping about
Exactly like a Bureaucratic Lout.
The Rhodes guy has a point; the system has a flaw
Grow up Mr Wicks stop acting like a bore.
All around the world people are laughing at you
From England to Alaska and down to Peru.
How can you be like that? It really won稚 gel,
You致e no sense of humour; your life must be hell
Now Toby didn稚 vote, on Election Day
He doesn稚 like Election Rolls; just Dog-rolls so they say
The Police declined to prosecute. and Peters grin痴 no mystery,
And Toby Russell Rhodeswill go down in History!

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