Yorkshire Dialect: Yar Ethel’s Gret ‘opes Are Turned Upsahde Daan
In his latest dialect tale Mike Shaw tells why yar Ethel, a great believer in horoscopes, had cause to blush when she went to the chapel concert.
Lahke a lot mooar women, yar Ethel's a gret believer i' 'oroscopes.
T' other morning', afta Ah'd finished gooin' through t' newspaper, shoo gate owld on it an' Ah could see 'at t' first thing shoo looked at wer t' stars.
"It sez 'ere 'at a slahce o' luck's comin' mah way terday an' should bring a boost ter mi finances," shoo explained.
"Well, tha'r nooan gettin' owt aat o' me, Ah can tell thee that fer starters," Ah replahd.
Ethel thowt fer a minnit or sooa an' then sed it maht be summat ter do wi' t' concert we wer gooin' to at t' chapel that neet.
Afta teea, Ah'd forty winks i' front o' t' fahre afooar Ethel woke me up wi' a start an' sed it wer ommost tahme we wer off ter t' chapel.
Mooast o' t' singin' an' piano laikin wer nooan im' mah lahne, but Ah wer interested in a conjurer 'at did a few tricks afooar th' interval.
Whahle we wer suppin' us cups o' teea at hauf-tahme, Lizzie Smith came raand sellin' raffle tickets, an' yar Ethel sooin 'ad 'er purse aat ter give 'er a paand fer a dozen tickets.
"T' first prahze is a £10 book voucher and ther's boxes of chocolates fer second and third, sooa it's well worth winnin'," sed Ethel.
As we gate sat daan fer t' second hauf, Lizzie went on stage an' sed t' winnin' number wer 99.
"Sithee, Ah knew it wer mah lucky day," sed Ethel, awl of a do-dah. "It's 'ere, Lizzie," shoo shaated as shoo went up fer 'er book token.
Then another woman at t' back sed shoo'd getten number 99 an' awl, sooa it wer nowt but chaos fer a few minnits.
Lizzie 'eld 'er 'ands up fer fowk ter be quahrt an' sed shoo wer varry sorry, but Ethel 'ad getten 'er ticket upsahde daan an' it wer really number 66.
Ethel wer sooa embarrassed 'er face wer just lahke a beetroot as shoo came an' sat daan ageean.
"Next tahme tha looks at thi 'oroscope Ah should trah reeadin' it t' wrang way up!" Ah chuckled, givin' 'er a dig wi' mi elbow.
