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Yorkshire Dialect: In Bother An' Reight Ovver A Bit O' Stamp Duty

A note in the pocket is not necessarily a good memory jogger, as Mike Shaw reveals in his latest Yorkshire dialect tale.

When Ah gate back wom fra a walk daan ter t' village t' other mornin' yar Ethel gave me a reight tellin' off.

"Did ter get them stamps fra t' pooast office 'at Ah wanted?" shoo asked as sooin as Ah'd getten through t' front dooar.

"Nay, Ah'm sorry lass, but Ah cleean forgate awl abaat 'em,"Ah replahd sheepishly.

"T' trouble wi' thee is tha's getten tha' mahnd on other things," shoo grumbled. "Ah bet tha din't forget ter gooa ter t' bookies ter collect thi Grand National winnins. Tha's getten a memory lahke a sieve thees days. It' just abaat tahme 'at tha started teein some thread raand thi finger or summat."

"Ah'm dooin' nowt o' t' sooart," Ah sed. "Mi mates daan at t' club ud reckon Ah wer looisin' me know an' reight.

"Ah'll tell thee wat Ah'll do. Ah'll wrahte aat a nooate an' put it in mi pocket, an that'll mek sure Ah remember."

T' next day Ah'd promised ter pop inta t' pub wi' Jack Bamforth fer a pahnt afooar t' dinner, sooa Ah wrote aat a nooate ter get Ethel's stamps an' shoved it in mi traahser pocket.

Wen we gat in t' pub we wer sooin runnin' t' Grand National awl ovver ageean wi' t' landlooard, an' afooar we knew wheer we wer it wer dinnertahme. Sooa we supped up reight smartish an' Ah 'urried back wom.

Ethel wer lookin' fer me fra' t' front room winda an' wen Ah wer sittin' daan ter mi dinner shoo sed,"Tha'r nobbut just i'tahme, otherwahse thi sausage an' chip'd be burnt ter a frazzle. An' Ah'll 'ave mi stamps naah, sooa Ah can get yond two letters inta t' pooast."

Mi face musta dropped a mahle wen Ah reealahsed Ah'd fergetten awl abaat 'er flippin' stamps wi' rushin'.

"Ah thowt tha'd written it daan on a bit o' paper," shoo sed wi' a face lahke a thunderclaad.

"Well, Ah did," Ah replahd. "But Jack bowt th' ale, sooa Ah cleean forgate ter feel i' mi pocket."


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