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Yorkshire Dialect: T' Long an' Shooart o' Married Life

Mike Shaw's broad Yorkshire characters consider marriages ancient and modern.

Me an' tuthri o' mi mates wer on us way ter t' cricket match last Setday wen Jack Bamforth remarked on awl t' cars ther wer parked on t' rooad.

We sooin fun aat wat they wer i' aid of, cos jist'as we wer passin' t' church a Rolls Royce pulls up wi' a brahde insahde.

"By gum, it teks me back a bit does that," sez Tommy as t' brahde an' 'er father went through t' lych gate.

"Aye, tha can say that ageean," Ah replahd. "Let's see, Tommy, aah monny yeears' 'ard labour asta dun up ter press?"

"Ommost forty, but it seeams mooar lahke four 'undred," sez Tommy. "Ah can't remember wat it wer lahke ter be single."

"Wat arta talkin' abaat, wen tha's done as long as me tha'll know," Ah sed. "It's well ower fifty yeears sin' yar Ethel dragged me daan th' aisle."

As t' brahde disappeared insahde t' church, Jack sed, "Ah wonder aah long this 'ere marriage ull last. Thees days it's mooar lahkely ter be fahve yeears asteead o' fifty. Mooast o' t' young uns dooan't seeam ter stick tergether two minnits afooar they's puttin' in fer a divooarce."

Ah nodded mi yed then chuckled: "Aye, but t' fastest split-up Ah remember wer monny a yeear sin'. This couple 'ad a long repooart o' t' weddin' i' t' looacal rag, an't' gremlins must 'a getten inta it sumaah. Wen t' paper cums aat, it sed at th' end o' t' repooart: 'The bride went away with the organist'. Na then, beeat that fer a quick swap!"


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