Yorkshire Dialect: Busy Lizzie's Big Bloomer
Nosey-parker Lizzie makes a laughable mistake in Mike Shaw’s latest dialect tale.
We'd ‘ardly getten t’ breakfast pots sahded t' other mornin' wen ther cums a reight knockin' on t' dooar. "Who the ummer can that be sooa sooin?" muttered yar Ethel as shoo gate up fra t' table.
Ah thowt fer a mirtnit it maht be t' pooastman wi' a bit o' gooid news, but Ah wer wrang, cos back cums Ethel wi' 'er mate Lizzie, a reight busybody fra daan t' street. Ah grooaned lahke it wer mi last breath, then stuck mi yed i' t' paper, thinkin' they maht leeave me alooan.
But it wer awl i' vain, cos Ethel gate gooin' as if shoo wer a gramophone wi' t' needle stuck. "Ah think that's shockin', Lizzie, absolutely shockin'," shoo sed. "Dun't t'aah think it's shockin' Bill?".
"Ah've nooa idea wat tha'r on abaat, sooa aah can Ah say wither it's shockin," Ah replahd.
"Well, Lizzie's yerd Willie an' Sara France, yond couple 'at live next dooar to 'er, talkin' abaat puttin' up a conservatory. An' they've nooan sed a word ter Lizzie abaat it."
Afoor long Ah gate chock fed up wi' listenin' ter t' pair on 'em, sooa Ah tuk missen off fer a walk raand t' village. An' who shud Ah cum across aatsahde butcher's but Willie France, weighin' up whether ter get boiled 'am or tongue fer t' teea.
"By gum, Willie, tha's gooan an' getten Lizzie inta a reight tizzy abaat yond conservatory tha'r baan ter build," Ah sed.
Willie thowt fer a minnit an' then cracked aat laffin fit ter bust. "Ah reckon it's tahme yond nooasy-parker gate 'er ears syringed," 'e sed. “Sarah an' me wer talkin' abaat t' caancil elections i' May, an' Ah jist 'appened ter say it wer abaat tahme we ver puttin' a Conservative up!"
