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Yorkshire Dialect: Stokin’ up Yar Ethel’s Fahre

You’re expecting the coal man to make a delivery, and the horoscope says that sex will arrive to brighten up your day. Could that word sex be wrongly spelled?

Mike Shaw tells another dialect tale.

Yar Ethel allis lahkes ter think ’at shoo’s on t’ ball wi’ ivverythin’ ter do wi’ th’ haaskeepin’.

“It’s nobbut a matter o’ getting’ organahsed,” shoo sez umpteen tahmes a week, just t’ same as yar Sergeant Major did in’ t’ war.

Last Thursday shoo kept gooin’ ter t’ winda an’ lookin’ up t’ road till Ah cudn’t bahde it onny longer. “Tha’r disturbin’ mah concentration summat shockin’,” Ah towld ‘er, lookin’ up fra behind t’ newspaper.
Ah dooan’t know wat’s getten inta thee, but tha’r up an’ daan lahke a cat on ’ot bricks.”

Shoo tuk another peeop raand t’ curtain an’ sed shoo were waitin’ fer t’ coilman ter turn up. “Ah thawt we’d better get a few secks in whahle t’ prahce were daan,” shoo explained. “Sooa Ah called in yesterday an’ ordered hauf a dozen. T’ chap sed they’d cum awther terday or termorrow, but Ah’d clean fergetten we’re aat fer t’ day termorrow.

“Ah’m ’opin’ they’ll be ‘ere terday, cos if they cum whahle we’re aat they’ll nooan leave ’em an’ Ah shull atta trail daan ter th’ office ageean ter mek new arrangements.”

“That’s nooan varry good organahsation,” Ah sed, getting’ mi yed back inta t’ paper.

A couple o’ minnits later Ah gives a little chuckle an’ towld Ethel shoo’d nowt ter bother abaat, cos it sed i’ ’er ’oroscope ’at t’ coil ud be ’ere terday. “Well, at least, that’s wat Ah reckon wen it sez ’at sex arrahves ter brahten up thi day. T’ papers these days are chock full o’ spellin’ mistakes!”


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