Yorkshire Dialect: Tekkin' Stock o' Law an' Order
There's more than one use for a ripe tomato, as Mike Shaw's dialect tale reveals.
Yar Ethel an' me wer listenin' on t' wahreless t' other day wen they wer talkin' abaat law an' order. One chap reckoned we shud gooa back ter 'angin' an' floggin', another sed it wer awl t' parents' fault, and then ther wer a woman puttin' t' blame on t' government.
"Nubdy's sed owt abaat gettin' t' bobbies back on t' beat," sez Ethel. "Ah reckon that ud put a stop ter a lot o' thees young uns 'at gooa abaat pinchin' cars an' wat not. Wen we 'ad us own bobby in t' village ther weren't awl this bother. 'E knew jist abaat ivverybody bi seet an' e' lived on t' dooarstep an' awl if tha remembers," shoo sed.
Jist then shoo 'ad ter break off ter start gettin' t' teea ready, but t'prooargramme finished sooin afta onnyrooad, sooa Ah torned t' wahreless off. Ah shaated inta t' kitchen 'at t' bobbies thees days dooan't seem ter want ter do a lot o' walkin'. "Onnyrooad, wen they do catch thees wrang uns, they're nobbut put on probation or summat soft lahke that," Ah sed.
Ethel din't reply, but shoo started chunnerin abaat tomatoes shoo'd bowt ter gooa wi' boiled 'am fer t' teea. "Jist look at this lot," shoo sed, shovin' a plate on 'em in front o' mi een. "It's nobbut tuthri days sin' Ah bowt 'em an' they'n gooan sooa soft they're nooan fit ter eyt."
Ah 'ad a quick sken at 'em an' towd Ethel: "Nay, them's jist reight, Ah reckon. Ah wer gooin' ter say 'at we shud shove them young tearaways in t' Marsden stocks fer a day or two. An' them toms ud mek grand ammunition ter chuck at 'em!"
