Yorkshire Dialect: 'O Buttons 'n Badges
In the latest of Mike Shaw's good-humoured dialect tales there's a crisis when yar Ethel loses a button from her best coat.
Yar Ethel came back fra a shoppin' trip ter taan last week in a reight bad mood. Wen shoo set off first thing t' sun wer shahnin' an' it wer fair grand fer t' tahme o' year.
Then it changed reight sudden whahle shoo wer i' t' middle of 'er shoppin.
T' wind gate up an' it started rainin' cats an' dogs, sooa shoo wer a bit wet an' weary wen shoo landed back wom. An', on top of awl that, shoo'd lost a button off 'er best coit.
Wen shoo'd getten 'ersen sooarted aat, shoo set to ter fahnd a spare button 'at shoo reckoned wer a perfect match fer t' others. "Ah remember puttin' it away somewheer safe, but Ah can't think fer t' lahfe in me wheer it wer," shoo sed.
Shoo went through awl 'er drawers upsteears an' daansteears, but ther wer nooa sahn of it, an' bi this tahme shoo wer gettin' 'ersen inta a reight lather. "Ee, it's chock grievin' wen tha nooas it's sittin' somewheer, laughin' at thi, whahle tha searches hah an' low," shoo chuntered.
"Ah think th' ooanly spot Ah've nooan looked is in tha drawer in t' sahdebooard, sooa Ah'll gooa through that, although Ah dooan't think fer a minnit it'll be theer."
"Ah'm bloomin' sure it win't be," Ah replahd. "Awl t' stuff i' theer's mahne, sooa tha'r nooan lahkely ter put it wi' them."
Onnyrooad, shoo gate rummmagin' araand i' t' drawer an' then emptied ivverythin' aat on ter t' table. Ther wer nooa sahn o' t' button, but Ah suddenly spotted mi owld Army cap badge 'at Ah'd been trahin' ter fahnd a few weeks back.
"By gum, that brings back a few memories," Ah sed. "If that badge could ooanly talk tha could fill a book abaat wat Ah did durin' war i' France, Belgium an' Germany.
"Ah daresay tha'r reight," Ethel replahd. "But from wat a little bird telled me abaat thee an' yond French lasses, thi book ud need plenty o' blue pencil!".
