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U3A Writing: The New Millennium

Cecilia Evans writes a poem about the new millennium, when computer problems were predicted to result in all manner of disasters.

Millennium, Millennium, that wretched bug - Millennium,
We heard nothing but this doleful cry through 1999,
"You'll have no gas, no water,
Or 'lecky' and you ought to
Take all your money from the bank - in time
Stock bottled drinks and propane,
Tinned food, candles, there is no pain
In being prepared, as for another war."
Those old chips! No life enhancer,
Hibernation seemed the answer,
Then - Two thousand Anno Domini was born.

Explosions vari-coloured,
Screams, cheers, hooters jostled
To be seen and heard at this 'propitious' time,
At night we gazed up high,
Firework flowers flamed the sky,
Acridness hung on the trembling air.
Television cameras rolled,
Strobes pierced, red, green and gold,
'Tis said folk were quite dizzy with the spell,
Eyes turned to Mr. Blair,
Who with calm, well practised flair,
Set the biggest wheel a-rolling on its way,
Millennium Dome pulsated,
Expectations duly sated -
By gorgeous, gaudy entertainment's glare.

But one quiet fact crouched hidden,
Like solitary guest unbidden -
The calendar was altered long ago,
Which means (forgive this pedant),
Jubilations were time errant,
Strictly speaking,
We're not where we thought we were.

Yet disaster hasn't struck,
Nor each computer bit the dust,
Nor Society run amok,
No, no,
We've jumped the 'hype'
Into 'Two Triple 0'.

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