Yorkshire Dialect: Wat’s Sauce Fer t’ Gooise
No Valentine’s Day card for yar Ethel – but she gets her own back. Mike Shaw tells another good-humoured dialect tale.
Ah thawt yar Ethel wer varry quahrt last Wednesday whahle we wer eyetin’ t’ breakfast. Ah cudn’t figure it aat fer a bit, then it came ter me wen we wer listenin’ ter t’ news at dinner tahme.
It wer Valentine’s Day, tha sees, an’ it suddenly dawned on me ’at Ah’d fergetten ter get a card for Ethel.
Ah trahd ter mek aat ’at Ah’d nooan yerd owt on t’ wahreless abaat it, but Ethel cudn’t caar quahrt onny longer. “Ah allis used ter get a Valentine’s card, but Ah nooatis ther in’t wun this tahme,” shoo sed.
Ah didn’t lahke admittin’ ’at Ah’d fergetten awl abaat it, sooa Ah med up an excuse on t’ spur o’ t’ moment. “Well, they reckon a lot o’ these owd traditions are deein’ aat naahdays ’cos it’s just a racket ter get fowk ter pay through t’ nooas fer fancy cards,” Ah replahd.
Atta t’ teea, whahle Ah wer gooin’ through th’ Examiner, yar Ethel muttered, “Ee, Ah’ve jist behowt me, it’s Pancke Day termorn.”
Naah, ther’s nowt Ah lahke better ner a reight-made pancake wi’ lots o’ traycle on it, an’ Ah fair started lickin’ mi lips jist at t’ thowt on it.
“Aye, we’ll ’ave ’em at teea-tahme as usual,” Ah sed. “Ah reckon Ah cud manage a couple at least.”
Yar Ethel looked up fra’er knittin, gave me wun of ’er funny looks an replahd, “Nay, tha can goooa an’ jump fer thi panckes. Same as tha sez, a lot o’ th’ owd traditions are deein’ aat!”
