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Yorkshire Dialect: Adam's Ale is Nooan t' Drink it Used ter Be

If tap water isn't up to the mark there's always something else to drink, as Mike Shaw's latest dialect tale reveals.

Ah daresay you'll 'ave nooaticed, lahke Ah did a bit sin', 'at watter aat o' t' tap's nowt lahke it used ter be.

Wen we wer on spring watter at yar haas it wer reight refreshin', just as gooid as fresh milk.

One o' mi mates who worked fer t' Watter Booard used ter sup four or fahve pahnts a day of it.

"It's grand stuff and it keeps yer regular," 'e allis sed. But naahdays 'e win't sup onny of it. "It's lahke milk 'at's gooan sair," 'e reckons.

Yar Ethel wer a watter drinker an' awl, but she's cut daan a lot cos shoo sez it's nowt but chemical juice. "It ud oppen thi een an' reight if tha came shoppin' wi' me in t' supermarket," shoo sed t' other day. Ther's shelf afta shelf o' bottled watter. Some on it comes fra France, but ther's some fra Buxton an' Scotland, and even Ben Shaw's are bottling it naah besahdes their pop."

As Ah wer givin' mi pahpe a refill, Ah asked Ethel if they still med American creeam soda, which wer mah favourite wen Ah wer a lad.

"Ah can't say as Ah've nooaticed onny," shoo replahd. "Onnyrooad, tha's getten away fra t' point. As Ah see it, we can't affoard ter bah onny o' this bottled watter, an' Ah'm agen it in principle, onnyrooad, cos Ah dooan't believe we should atta pay fer wat's been given us fer nowt.

"On t' other 'and, Ah can't stand this stuff 'at comes aat o' t' tap. Sooa Ah've med mi mahnd up 'at Ah'm baan ter stop suppin' it on its own and mek a cup o' teea asteead. Yond Tetley's teea bags mek a reight gooid brew."

"That's t' best idea tha's 'ad fer monny a yeear," Ah replahd. "Ah reckon Ah'll switch ter Tetley's an' awl. Just pass me yond bottle o' ther best bitter an' Ah'll mek a start naah!"

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