Yorkshire Dialect: Dressed Fer t' Part
Yar Ethel's delighted to be going to a wedding but her husband is less than enthusiastic, as Mike Shaw's dialect tale reveals.
Yar Ethel's face lit up lahke t' desert sun t'other day wen shoo wer oppenin' t' mornin' mail.
"By gum, that's a reight grand surprahse," shoo sed as shoo sat reeadin' a card aat o' an envelope. "Yar Sarah's dowter, Betty, is gettin' married next month an' we're invahted ter t' weddin'. Ther's nowt Ah lahke better ner a summer weddin', cos we can awl get dressed up in us fahnery, asteead o' wearin' thick coits an' stuff if it's i' winter.
"Ah shull atta draw a bit o' brass aat o' t' building society fer a new aatfit, an' it's tahme tha 'ad a new shirt an' awl. That whahte un tha's bin wearin' fer best 'as ommost gooan grey tha's 'ad it sooa long," shoo chuntered.
"Whativver atta talkin' abaat," Ah replahd. "Ther's nowt up wi' it 'at a gooid weshin' an' ironin' win't put reight. Onnyrooad, Ah dooan't see it's necessary ter gooa throwin' us brass abaat lahke ther's nooa termorra jist fer a tuppenny ha'penny do."
Ah thowt Ethel wer baan ter 'ave a fit wen Ah sed that, cos shoo blew 'er top an' reight. "Tuppenny ha'penny do bi 'anged," shoo spluttered. T' weddin's at Slawit Church an' t' reception's at t' Masonic, an' tha can't get mich posher ner that. Sarah's 'usband's a big man i' Masons, tha knows, sooa ther'll be plenty of 'is mates theer i' top 'at an' tails, Ah bet."
Ah let aat a reight grooan wen Ah yerd that. "Well, Ah 'ope tha'r nooan expectin' me ter dress up lahke an ovvergrooan penguin," Ah sed.
"Ah wonder if awl' t' Masons ull be wearin' their fancy aprons. Ah can match 'em theer awlreight wi' yond new blue un Ah bowt thee fer us last weddin' anniversary. Your Sarah's allis bin one for savin' brass wheer shoo can. Sooa asteead o' gettin' caterers in, awl us i' pinnies can gie 'er a 'and ter mek sandwiches in t' kitchen!"
