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Yorkshire Dialect: Sniffin' Aat A Smelly Present

How about a tie that smells of fish and chips or meat-and-potato pie? Mike Shaw tells another dialect story with a chuckle in its tail.

Me an' yar Ethel wer invahted aat ter t' teea last Sunday bi Ethel's cousin Annie.

"An' think on, get thissen donned up reight fer once," shoo sed on t' Frahday neet. Ah fair shame sometahmes wen fowk cum visitin' an' tha'r slupperin' raand i' that owd gansey wi' canteen medals awl ower it."

"Whah, it's a pooar do if a chap can't wear wat 'e wants in 'is own haas," Ah replahd. "Onnyrooad, tha's ner need ter worry, Ah shan't be gooin' i' mi gansey ter Annie's."

"Ah shud think not nawther," sed Ethel. "An' whahle we're on t' subject, surely tha can wear a collar an' tie fer a change asteead o' yond owd-fashioned muffler."

"Nay, 'owd on a bit," Ah chuntered. "Tha knows varry weel Ah only put a tie on fer weddins an' funerals. I' onny case, Ah've nooan a tie worth puttin' on bar mi black un, an' tha dun't want me wearin' that, else fowk maht wonder if it's wishful thinkin'."

Ah wer a bit tekken aback wen Ethel sed shoo'd fot me a new un fra t' taan i' t' mornin'. "That ull do fer thi birthday present next month," shoo sed. "Asta onny particlar sooart i' mahnd?"

"Well, Ah wer reeadin' i' t' paper at tha can get thees 'ere scented ties naah called Snifters," Ah replahd. "Sooa Ah'll settle fer wun o' them. Ther's nobbut wun condition. It ull atta be t' reight sooart o' smell. Fish an' chips or meyt an' potato pah maht jist persuade your Annie ter gie us summat asteead o' salad fer a change


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