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Yorkshire Dialect: Swiss Role fer Fred an' Lizzie

Is there anything worse than being an unwilling viewer of someone's holiday slides? Mike Shaw brings us another dialect tale.

Yar Ethel wer fair excahted wen shoo gate wom fra a trip ter taan last week. "Ah bumped inta yar Lizzie in t' supermarket an' we've been invahted ovver fer t' teea on Sunday," shoo sed. "Er an' Fred went ter Switzerland fer ther 'olidays this yeear, tha knows, an' shoo's just getten t' slahdes 'at they took."

Ah let aat a groan an’ replahd, “Th’ ooanly gooid thing abaat gooin’ ter your Lizzie’s is shoo meks some smashin’ robin cake. If it weren’t fer that tha’d ‘ave a job ter get me ter gooa.”

We gate ter Lizzie’s abaat four o’clock an' it fair bucked me up wen Ah saw 'er bringin' aat t' robin cake an' currant buns, sooa Ah wer feelin' fair champion afta teea. Then we gate daan ter t' serious business, wi' Fred gettin' 'is stall set up ter show us 'is slahdes.

Ah wer dreadin’ wat we wer in fer wen Ah saw two gret pahles o’ slahdes, an’ it turned aat’ at Ah wer reight ter be worried. Ah reckon Fred musta spent moost of 'is 'oliday snappin' away wi' 'is camera, cos we'd ter sit theer whahle 'e went through th' whole week fra t' thread ter t' needle.

Ah trahd ter nod off once or twahce, but Ah couldn't manage it, sooa Ah'd ter wetch slahde afta slahde o' chalets an' maantins wi' snow on top. Ah kept lookin' at t' clock an' wen it gate past ten Ah remahnded Ethel 'at t' last bus went at quarter-past.

Sooa we beat wat tha maht call a 'asty retreat, an' wen we gate wom yar Ethel wer full of aah wonderful it'd been. "Ah've allis fancied a 'oliday i' Switzerland," shoo sed. "Dosta think we can scrape up enough brass ter gooa next summer?"

Wen shoo sed that Ah ommost swallowed mi 'umbug Ah wer suckin', an' Ah telled Ethel ter ask me ageean i' four yeears tahme. "Afta three haars o' Fred's slahdes Ah've seen enough chalets an' maantins ter last me till then at leeast!" Ah growled.


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