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Poetry Pleases: The Telephone

Oh for those days of the old-fashioned telephone. Katharine Bentley is no fan of the mobile phone, as her poem reveals.

Remember the telephone of long, long ago
A pleasure to use, you just dialed O
A cheery reply asked “Number please?”
You were put through quickly, with a great deal of ease.

Fifty years on and progress has been made
Instruments are tiny and numbers fade
Long numbers you try hard to recollect
Press loads of numbers, but how you forget.

At last the right number goes in the machine
You’re through to Call Centre and a very large team
You wait and you wait and hear a bright tune
A recorded voice tells you they’ll be with you soon.

You phone with anger and express annoyance
Can you get the right person? Their experts at avoidance!
You’re palmed off with excuses and told to try later
Your venom erodes for you they don’t cater.

You look around widely and see all with earache
Oh No! They are using the phone it’s your mistake
They’re talking about nothing and getting in your way
I wish they’d pocket it now and keep it there to stay.

I find it annoying when with a friend
She’s always receiving calls or texts to send
I find it the height of rudeness to be ignored
These dammned mobile phones have a lot to answer for.

Now if like me you sometimes need one
Emergencies arise I can contact my son
But if he wants to contact me I have to confess
I never turn it on which adds to his distress.

If you wish to keep friends I suggest what’s to do
Get out pen and paper and write a letter or two
Your friends joy and pleasure is such a delight
Amongst all the brown envelopes it’s a wonderful sight.


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