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Yorkshire Dialect: Ah'm aat o' This World

The characters in Mike Shaw's dialect tale are this week facing a trying time.

"Ah'll tell thee wat, it's an expensive tahme o' t' yeear just naah an' reight," sed yar Ethel wen shoo came back fra taan t' other day.

"Whah, 'ave Government put VAT up ageean or wat?" Ah asked as Ah supped mi afternooin pot o' teea.

"That just shows aah aat o' touch tha are, sittin' theer keepin' t' fahre warm," shoo snapped. Ah wonder sometahmes whether tha'r on this earth or Fuller's. Dun't ter know ther's nobbut another fahve weeks ter Kersmuss?

"Janet fra next dooar but one wer tellin' me on t' bus comin' back fra taan 'at awl men are t' same. They think 'at money grows on trees an' awl th' extras they get at Kersmuss pay fer thersen."

"Well, Ah dooan't know wat tha'r grumblin' abaat," Ah sed. "Ah allis pay fer th' ale at Kersmuss sooa tha's nobbut t' grub ter think abaat."

"It's nooan as simple as that, yer chump," grumbled Ethel. "Whahle tha's bringin' tuthri cans o' beer an' a bottle o' sherry wom fra t' club, Ah'm forkin' aat fer t' turkey, pooark, meyt pahs, Kersmuss puddin' an' awl t' rest."

Ah could see Ah wer on a looiser theer, sooa Ah changed t' subject reight sharp bi askin' 'er if shoo'd bowt onny lottery tickets. But Ah gate another lugoil bashin' fer that.

"Ah should just keep thi trap shut if Ah wer thee," shoo sed. "Ivvery tahme tha oppens it tha gets thissen deeper an' deeper inta trouble.
Ah've nooan spent owt on t' lottery fer monny a week. Tha'd look weel if Ah towld thee tha couldn't 'ave onny nuts this Kersmuss cos Ah'd thrown t' brass away on t' lottery."

"Nay, tha knows wat they say. If at first tha dun't succeed, trah, trah, an' trah ageean," Ah replahd. Ah yerd on t' wahreless t' other day 'at 277 fowk 'ave bin made millionaires through winnin' on t' lottery."

"Tha certainly trahs me, ter some pattern," grumbled Ethel. "An' if tha thinks tha'll be number 278 tha's moved off Fuller's Earth onta claad cuckoo land!"

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