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Yorkshire Dialect: Cappin' Bit o' Bedroom Banter

Mike Shaw's dialect tale this week concerns a missing cap.

Ah wer enjoyin' a peaceful reead o' t' paper t' other mornin' wen yar Ethel breezed in lahke a whirlwind.

"Na then, tha's sat theer long enough studyin' t' paper, sooa Ah'm baan ter set thee summat ter do," shoo sed bossily.

"As a rule Ah dooan't start spring cleeanin' till well inta March. But ivverythin's early this tahme, sooa Ah'm baan ter folla suit.

"Ah thowt Ah maht as well get t' bedrooms done afooar Ah mek a start daan 'ere.

"Ah dooan't want onny compalints fra thee abaat chuckin' stuff away 'at tha wants ter keep, sooa tha'd better 'ave a sooart aat afooar Ah get crackin'."

"Nay, tha's caught me on th' 'op an reight," Ah replahd. "Ah'd reckoned on a few mooar weeks at onny rate afooar t' big cleean-up."

But Ah could see, wi' Ethel in that sooart o' mood, 'at Ah weren't baan ter get aat o' t' job, sooa Ah put t' paper daan an' went upsteears ter look through mi wardrobe.

Afta Ah'd getten ommost awl mi clooathes laid aat on t' bed Ah fun a couple o' pairs o' traasers 'at wer just abaat ready fer t' ragman, but awl t' rest looked awlreight.

As Ah wer rummagin' araand in t' bottom o' t' wardrooabe Ethel came in ter see aah Ah wer gettin' on.

"Dosta know, Ah can't fahnd mah best cap onnywheer," Ah complained. "Ah know Ah put it away somewhere safe, an' Ah could 'ave sword it wer in 'ere. But Ah've gooan through t' lot an' Ah can't fahnd it fer t' lahfe in me."

"Tha'r in a reight pickle then, raplahd Ethel, "an' it's certainly wheer tha's put it, cos Ah've nivver seen t' bloomin' thing."

"Nay, tha'd nooa need ter be sooa sarcastic," Ah grumbled. "Onnybody'd think tha'd getten a gibberin' idiot fer a 'usbnad 'at can't remember summat fra one week ter' t' next."

"Well," sed Ethel wi' a smirk on 'er face, "tha knows yond sayin' abat if t' cap fits . . . 'an that's afooar tha gooas on lookin' fer it!"


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