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Yorkshire Dialect: Lookin’ Forrard wi’ a Will

Yar Ethel considers serious matters in Mike Shaw's latest dialect ale.

Afta awl that rain we’ve ‘ad lately, it wer fair grand ter wekken up ter some sunshane last Wednesday.

Wen Ah yerd t’ birds singin’ an’ saw t’ daffodils noddin’ away in t’ back garden, it fair put me in a gooid mood.

But Ah thowt it wer too gooid ter last, an’ sure enough yar Ethel ‘ad ter put t’ mockers on it.

Ah wer just settlin’ daan wi’ t’ mornin’ paper wen shoo came aat o’ t’ kitchen an’ sed shoo’d been lookin’ ahead.

“Dooan’t say tha’r baan ter get on abaat th’ ‘olidays ageean,” Ah telled ‘er. Tha’ll be tellin’ me ter start packin’ t’ bags oonnytahme.”

“Nay, yer daft ‘ayporth. Ah meean even further ahead. At yar age Ah reckon it’s abaat tahme we wer mekkin a will.”

“By gum, Ah thowt talkin’ abaat th’ ‘olidays wer bad enough, but death’s a bloomin’ seet war,” Ah replahd.

“Wat dosta want ter bother abaat a will for? If Ah dee first tha gets t’ lot an’ if it’s t’ other way raand Ah’ll think Ah’ve won t’ lottery.”

"It's nowt ter jooak abaat," sed Ethel. "It's wat'll 'appen wen we've booath gooan 'at bothers me."

"It certainly don't bother me," Ah replahd cheerfully. "Thee an' me'll be aat o' t' rooad, sooa we'll 'ave nowt ter worry abaat fer a change."

Ethel sed shoo'd been reeadin' a piece in t' paper written bi a solicitor 'at sed ivverybody owt ter mek a will.

"Well, 'e would say that, wouldn't 'e," Ah replahd, "cos it's awl brass in 'is pocket. Thees solicitors are nooan daft, tha nooas.

"Jooa Sykes's solicitor let t' cat aat o' t' bag wen Jooa went ter see 'im a few yeears back abaat mekkin 'is will.

"As sooin as 'e'd getten Jooa sat daan in 'is office 'e telled 'im,'Now, don't worry about a thing, Mr. Sykes. Just leave everything to me!'"


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