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Yorkshire Dialect: Jooa Sykes Bowls 'Em Ovver

An impromptu game in the club nearly brought disaster, as Mike Shaw reveals in his latest dialect tale.

Ther wer nobbut three on us in t' club one neet last week, sooa we din't 'ave enough fer a game o' doms. It wer a bit of an awkward number fer snooker an' awl, sooa we wer at a looise end as tha maht say. Jooa Sykes sed it wer abaat tahme we laiked at summat else fer a change.

We awl agreed wi' 'im, but t' trouble wer 'at nubdy could think wat other game ter laike.

"Wat abaat crib?" Ah suggested. "It's donkey's yeears sin' Ah laiked at that, an' we can manage wi' three on us."

Jack Bamforth sed that wer nooa gooid cos 'e din't know aah ter laike crib. "I' onny case, Ah reckon we should trah summat a bit mooar energetic asteead o' sittin' raand lahke yond stuffed animals at Ravensknowle Museum," 'e sed.

"That's easier sed ner done," Ah replahd. "Ah dooan't know onny energetic game 'at we can laike in 'ere."

Jack musta been thinkin' it ovver 'cos 'e came up wi' th' idea of a game
o' skittles. "We can set empty ale bottles up at one end o' t' room an' bowl at 'em wi' yond fooitball in t' committee room," 'e sed. Jooa an' me wer awl i' favour, sooa 'e gate some empty bottles an' Ah fot t' fooitball, whahle Jack cleared away t' tables an' cheears.

"Seein' as it wer mah idea, Ah'll gooa first an' see aah monny bottles
Ah can get daan wi' two gooas," Jack sed.

'Is first ball nobbut 'it one aat o' t' ten bottles an' 'is second gate
another three, which wer nowt mich ter beeat.

Jooa set t' bottles up ageean an' gate owld o' t' ball fer 'is gooa. 'E sent t' first ball daan lahke a bat aat o' 'ell an' it knocked ivvery one o' t' bottles awl ower t' shop.

"It's a strahke, it's a strahke," yelled Jooa as t' fooitball flew up in th' air an' nearly knocked a lampshade fer six.

"It's a strahke awlreight, but Ah dooan't want ter dee just yet," Ah chuntered. "Tha came varry cloise ter puttin' awl us bloomin' leets aat, yer daft beggar!"


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