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Yorkshire Dialect: Aat O' t' Mouths O' Babes An' Sucklings

It's just as well that a lad should know what his father likes, as Mike Shaw's chuckle-filled dialect tale reveals.

Jack Bamforth an' me wer aat walkin' one day last week wen we came across a gang o' lads laikin fooitball in t' schooil field.

"By gum, that teks me back a bit," Ah sed as we stopped ter watch ovver t' wall. "It must be sixty yeears or mooar since thee an' me used ter laike fer t' school wen we won awl them cups."

"Aye, we'd a gooid teeam i' them days. Ivverybody wanted ter beeat us, but ther wer varry few 'at did," sed Jack.

Just then one o' t' lads went dribblin' inta t' penalty area, tripped ovver 'is own feet an' went sprawlin' in t' mud. "Penalty, ref," 'e bawled, but 'e gate nooa joy, even though 'is mates played 'eck wi' t' referee.

"That young un's picked up a tip or two fra t' star men tha sees on telly," Ah sed ter Jack. "Some on 'em are sooa gooid at reckonin' they've been tripped 'at they could dahve fer England."

Jack gave a chuckle but sed wen 'e thowt back nowt much 'ad changed. "If tha remembers we'd one lad i' yar teeam 'at gate monny a penalty bi somersaultin' abaat ten yards fra wheer 'e'd been tackled. We even nicknamed 'im Jumpin' Jack an' Ah reckon 'e could 'ave getten a job in a circus onny tahme."

"Tha's stirred up some memories naah an' reight," Ah replahd. "That wer wen mi father used ter tek me ter watch Taan at Leeds Rooad an' ther wer ommost a full haas ivvery week.

"Ah'll nivver forget wen Taan wer laikin Arsenal. We wer jammed in lahke sardines an' Ah gate split up fra mi father in ti' crush. Sooa Ah went an' fun a bobby an' telled 'im 'at Ah'd lost mi dad.

"Wen t' bobby asked me Wat's 'e lahke?" Ah sed straight aat, "A bottle o' beer an' a meyt pah at hauf-tahme."


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