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Yorkshire Dialect: Bedtahme Blues

Mike Shaw tells a dialect tale about a chap who snores so loudly he wakes himself up.

Wen Ah bumped inta Jack Bamforth in t' village last week Ah remahnded 'im 'at we'd be expectin' 'im an' 'is missus fer ther usual Kersmuss visit.

"Ah've 'ad a word wi' yar Ethel an' shoo reckons Sunday, 28th o' December, ud be t' best day fer us," Ah sed. "Kersmuss Day's on a Tuesday this yeear, tha nooas, an' shoo sez awl t' family parties an' watnot should be ovver bi t' followin' Sunday. "Ah reckon we'll awl be chock fed up wi' turkey bi that tahme, sooa we'll get a nahce bit o' pooark if thee an' Alice can come that day."

Jack took 'is tahme i' answerin' an' 'e seemed a bit unsure abaat t' job wen 'e gate raand ter sayin' summat. "Well, Ah think it should be awlreight, but Ah'll atta check wi' t' boss afooar sayin' fer definite," 'e replahd.

"Ter tell thee t' truth, we're nooan on t' best o' terms at present, wat wi' one thing an' another. Ah've nivver been wat tha'd call a 'eavy sleeaper up ter naah, but just lately Ah've started snooarin' ivvery tahme Ah drop off. It's mekkin' me reight niggly an' wi' awl t' build-up ter Kersmuss startin' Ah dooan't know wat ter do fer t' best."

Ah gave a little chuckle at that an' telled 'im 'at Ah'd 'ad t' same sooart o' bother fer yeears, but it din't worry me onny mooar.

"T' trouble is tha dun't know aah bad it is wi' me," Jack replahd, lookin' fair worried. "Tha sees, it's nowt ter do wi' yar Alice. It's just me. Ah've getten ter t' noit that Ah snooar sooa laad 'at Ah wakken missen up ivvery tahme."

"Well, Ah wer baan ter say 'at tha'd atta move inta t' spare bedroom. But Ah've just realahsed it wouldn't be much gooid i' tha case!" Ah chuckled.


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