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Yorkshire Dialect: Lottery Wins

A lottery win can have an unexpected effect on a marriage, as Mike Shaw's dialect tale reveals.

Yar Ethel gate 'er 'air off an' reight at t' weekend wen shoo wer watchin' t' lottery draw on telly.

"Thees 'ere big prahzes are awl wrang," shoo chuntered. "Wat do fowk want wi' monny a million paand. It'd be a lot better if they split it up sooa mooar fowk could win, even if it meant they'd get less brass. Ah reckon hauf a million should be enough fer onnybody ter get their 'ands on."

"Nay, it maht be enough fer fowk i' yar age bracket. But it'd nooan keep a young couple i' luxury fer t' rest o' their lahves," Ah replahd.

"Onnyrooad, just as a matter of interest, wat would tha do if tha won t' lottery? Some fowk'd be stuck ovver aah ter spend it."

Ethel sed should 'ave nooa trouble getin' rid on it. "T' first thing Ah'd do is gooa on a cruise raand t' world," shoo sed. "That's summat Ah've allis wanted ter do. Of cooarse, Ah'd want one o' them luxury suites, not a poky little cabin. An' Ah'd 'ave ter bah missen a looad o' new dresses an' some fahne jewellery ter gooa wi' 'em."

Shoo sat back in 'er cheear ommost as if shoo wer enjoyin' t' sun on a cruise ship, an' then shoo asked me wat Ah'd do if mi numbers came up.

"Well, Ah maht do t' same as yond chap fra Dewsbury who won t' lottery a bit back whahle 'e wer on a fishin' 'oliday wi' 'is mates at Whitby," Ah replahd wi' a grin.

"T' first thing 'e did wer ter ring t' wahfe ter let 'er know an' ter get 'er bags packed. Wen shoo asked 'im if shoo'd ter pack fer winter or summer, 'e sed, 'Ah'm nooan reight bothered, just as long as tha's gooan bi t' tahme Ah get back!'"


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