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Yorkshire Dialect: Tahme Flahs

Mike Shaw's dialect-speaking characters find that it's earlier than they thought.

One o' t' best things abaat bein' yar age is 'at we can stop i' bed i' a mornin', asteead o' bein' at t' beck an' call o' t' mill buzzer.

Wen Ah wer still workin' Ah'd ter be aat o' bed bi hauf-past six ter mek sure Ah
gate ter t' mill on tahme. In th' owden days, wen Ah wer a young fella, t' gates wer shut fahve minnits afta t' startin' tahme an' if tha weren't theer tha wer locked aat fer t' day wi' nooa wages.

After Ah retahred it took me an age ter geet aat o' th' 'abit o' beein' up afooar seven. But naahdays me an' yar Ethel sleep a lot longer ner we used ter do, sooa we dooan't usually get up till abaat eight o' dock.

T' other mornin' Ah'd ter get up ter spend a penny abaat hauf-past fahve, an' it wer fair grand ter get back i' bed an' settle daan ageean between t' sheets.

T' next thing Ah knew, yar Ethel wer nudgin' me as shoo gate aat o' bed, sayin', "Come on, sithee, it's gooan eight, sooa Ah'll get thi bacon on straight off."

Ah thowt ter missen 'at it seeamed dark fer that tahme o' day, an' it took me a few minnits ter come raand properly.

Wen Ah gate daansteears Ethel wer just tekkin th' egg an' bacon aat o' t' pan an' Ah went ter t' front dooar ter fot t' mornin' paper.

"T' bloomin' paper's late terday," Ah sed ter Ethel wen Ah couldn't fahnd it behand t' dooar. "Yond lad's usually 'ere at hauf-past seven on t' dot."

Onnyrooad, Ah sat missen daan fer mi breakfast an' Ah Wer just chewin' t' first maathful wen Ah 'appened ter glance at t' clock. An' Ah ommost shot aat o' mi skin wen Ah saw 'at it wer nobbut quarter-past seven.

"Wat the bloomin' ummer's gooin' on?" Ah asked Ethel as shoo browt me mi mug o' teea. "Tha's getten me up unda false pretences."

"Ah, well, Ah musta misread t' clock upsteears," shoo sed sheepishly. "Nivver 'eed, tha can call it mah bit o' double summertahme."


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